By the time they returned to Méherre’s home, she was weary to the bone. A glance at Kadra’s tight jaw told her that it was little more than bloodlust still keeping him upright.
She ran a bath and was struck by how similar the tile here was to that in Clan Kader’s Hall of Relics. She had crawled across it, acknowledgedhow worthless she was. She had put herself back together in the rubble because she had had no choice. But the pieces she had found hadn’t fit quite right. They were missing corners and had too many teeth. She had wedged them back inside anyway.
“Sarai?”
She realized that she had been standing in the doorway of the bathing room, staring at the tile for several minutes. “Oh.” She stepped away. The metal handle was ice against her clammy skin. “It’s been a long—”No.That wasn’t what she’d wanted to say. She let it out before she could think: “He had me say that I was worthless.”
A pause. She heard Kadra’s steps behind her. He turned her to face him. Ice and fury twisted in his eyes. “How,” he asked evenly, “would you like him to die?”
“That’s just it,” she whispered. “I don’t want him to. Even though the asshole had me—” she broke off before she could admit that she had crawled.
Kadra drew her against his chest, holding her like a fortress. “I’ve seen powerful men turn catatonic after an hour of what he did to you. This shame isn’t yours.” Scooping her into his arms, he strode into the bathroom and deposited her in Méherre’s stone bathtub. Black eyes held hers. “I’m proud of you.”
When her hands moved to the buttons of her tunic, he took them in his. “Let me take care of you, yes?”
She let him gently undress her and join her under the water. Taking the scrub cloth on the ledge of the tub, he ran it over her skin. She leaned into his touch, absorbing the feeling of him trying to put her back together. Had anyone done the same for him?
He dried her off and enveloped her in a robe.
Looking at those black eyes that terrified most people, she saw the quiet adolescent he had been—powerful and resigned, dangerous and lonely. “Thank you for choosing me.” His heart was all the greater a gift after what she knew of his past.
“You chose me too.” He rose from the tub, magnificently nude, cupping her face to kiss her. She parted her lips and clung to him in a surge of affection, peppering his cheeks and jaw with more kisses, and relishing the leonine way he nuzzled her.
Lifting her easily, he dropped her onto the bed and joined her. She cuddled close, wanting more but conscious of his exhaustion after battling Noceo. Several burst blood vessels still reddened his eyes. The lines in his brow deepened, and she could see him turning the past over in his head in search of a pivot point where he could have changed everything.
“This isn’t your fault.” She followed the path of a stray water droplet slaloming through his chest hair. “You’re much too used to manipulating the world, Kadra, but some things are outside your control.”
“Hmm.”
Swatting him, she straddled his waist. “Not. Your. Fault,” she repeated.
His eyes softened. “I’ll try to believe it,” he said dryly, tangling a hand in her wet hair. “As should you.”
She sighed. “Noceo wasn’t wrong about me though. I do crave power.”
“You crave security.” Strong fingers massaged her scalp. She melted into his chest. “Noceo sees the means not the end.”
She stilled as the simple truth struck her. Suddenly, the world felt infinitely more hopeful. Sitting up on her elbows, she pressed her fingertips to his strained temples, soothing what she could.
“Today was a fatal blow to Noceo’s ego. Nursing it will keep him occupied.” Bloodlust bloomed in his eyes. “Tomorrow, we prowl Edessa’s hospitals for answers.”
She nodded, raking a hand through his hair. He pressed into the caress like an affectionate northern wolf.
“Should I call you Drenevan?” she wondered.
A wry smile curved his lips. “Noceo told you whatKadrameans, hmm? Call me anything that pleases you.”
She propped herself up on an elbow. “My Tetrarch,” she tried. “No, everyone uses that. My love? My dear?” She paused when he didn’t join inthe fun. His eyes were the rarest, softest black, glowing with contentment. It struck her then that this wasn’t a bit of banter to him, but something he’d craved for a long time.
Leaning down, she touched her nose to his. “Perhaps I’ll try all of them.”
His cock stiffened against her legs. “Perhaps you should.”
She lost her battle with desire.
His gaze narrowed when she slid down his body. “You’re demanding to be sore tomorrow.”
“Well, I’m certain that the Magus Supreme can soothe me.”
