“Is that why you never visit London, Princess Grama? You don’t like the air? Is it too stinky?” Lydia is so sweet and innocent. My enemies will descend upon her. I refuse to let that happen.
“The princess is using a figure of speech, Lady Lydia. You sound like my husband’s aunties,” Scarlett says. “They take too much upon themselves trying to assimilate into a culture that, at times, doesn’t seem to want them or us.”
My mother is silent for a moment, but then her head nods. “You’re forthright like Jasha has said. Pity you’re not the one he chose to wife.”
“She’ll always be a sister, no matter what.” I whisper this. “I have no wife, remember? That is still correct? My dreams have …”
“Have had ponies, Papa Duke?”
My lips lift as I glance at my daughter. “I’m glad you held onto me when we met.” My eyes close again. “The best day ever was the day we met.”
“When Tavis died?” Scarlett’s words hang in the air.
“Best day. I found a new sister—well, a couple of them now—and a blessed daughter. Best day.”
“Jasha, please rest.” The fierce woman looks shaken. She and Scarlett must know I’m struggling.
My daughter crawls onto the bed and gently lies on my arm, the one not sore from bloodletting. “Uncle Mr. Stephen said Katherine is downstairs with Georgina. Should we give her a chance? She cares for me when I’m sick. I’m desperate for my papa to be well, even if it means her helping.”
“I should banish Lady Hampton for all she’s done.” My mother sounds very angry.
“Nyet.” I shake my head and grow dizzy. I utter a very weak sound, then another sad “Nyet.”
“Jasha?” My mother rushes to me. “You’re getting worked up over the mention of that woman. You’re so like your father. Andrew loved hard, too.”
My father fought with his last breath to validate their marriage. It wasn’t merely about inheritance. He wanted this world to accept their love. I made a promise to fight for love too, but I’ve been made a fool.
So might as well be on again. “I’m willing to try anything. I’ll not give up.” Then I say, “Mamen’ka, I trust Madame Carew with my life. And she must know that when time is up, there’s nothing anyone can do. No one will be at fault. I know you tried hard to save me.”
Scarlett wrings the cloth in the water basin, slapping against the pewter sides. “Well, time is not up. I’ll discover the proper treatment. You will see Lydia grow up. Maybe even be an uncle to the future children born of your new sisters’ marriages.
“Princess,” Scarlett says to my mother, “I’ll make my sisters leave at the first sign of distress.”
“Distress,” Mamen’ka says as she glares at the door.
Katherine stands there. “May I enter?”
For a moment, I feel happy. Katherine has come to me, but then I remember that she would have let me die without my knowing the truth.
Lydia lifts her head and holds her chin high. “Princess Grama, please take me to my room. Scarlett, send for me when your sister goes.”
Scarlett’s mouth drops open, but she nods. “As you wish, Lady Lydia.” Her voice sounds formal.
My daughter eases from the bed and takes her grandmother’s hand. “Papen’ka, I will be back. You remember to stay.”
Walking like my mother, she stares at Katherine. “No more lies to my papa.”
Katherine’s face is full of tears. How can stone or prized marble cry? She looks like she wants to say something, but what word can she give our child to make things better?
My mother shakes her head at Katherine, then turns to me. “Jasha, save your strength. Then you can be up to the mischief I know you love.”
I chuckle. I ache. I lift my gaze to Katherine. She must be here to dance on my grave.
Chapter 9
KATHERINE—MYREPENTANCESTARTSNOW
My beautiful little girl, the child I nursed in secret, who I held when fevered or scared, looks at me with venom. I want to tell her how sorry I am and explain that I never meant to hurt her, but she doesn’t stop moving.
