“I’m moved, Daniel, by your testimony. But you’re trained as a barrister to say pretty words, none of which explains why you now believe that Hope is mine. I have no evidence, just a few faulty memories but this is truth to you.”
“You want me to believe that Hope is your daughter? Done. I believe.”
“You believe just like that?”
Nodding, he folded his arms. “Yes, when you add Hope’s statement. She remembered your heartbeat.”
I placed my hand upon my bosom; his palm covered it. The ragged rhythm inside raged.
“It’s a very distinctive heartbeat. There’s an extra beat when you’re happy or excited or scared. I’ve heard how hard your chest pounds. Hope remembered it and named her dolly, Mrs. Phoebes, after her mother’s friend, Phoebe Dunn.”
“Phoebe Dunn was my friend. I couldn’t have been Lady Bodonel or worse. Now we don’t have to fear learning about who I was.”
“There is stillchubble. Hope could be a baby you decided to raise. She could be birthed from an enslaved woman owned by the St. Maurs. Then she might be the asset the St. Maurs want. I paid your widow’s dower out of the proceeds of selling off my uncle’s holdings. I wanted to ensure you had a new start independent of that family.”
“Ah, another secret. You truly were too generous.”
“I was. It’s enough for you to live independent of me too.”
He looked deflated and hurt in a way I hadn’t seen. None of the sneers or what almost happened at the ball, or the harassment of the Lord Mayor, had done this. He was prepared to let us go if I wanted that.
“Jemina, I don’t know when my feelings for you changed. Oh, how it bothered me to see you garnering so much attention. Then our kiss in the parlor at Sandlin Court was everything.”
It was grand. Every one of his were.
“The answers are so close. Let’s get them together. Daniel, we don’t have to fear learning more about me. The old me—”
“Married into a powerful family.” Daniel’s head tilted to the side. “I can’t let the Dunns lay claim to Hope. I definitely won’t allow the St. Maurs to put you at risk. Let’s stop now. No more risk to you or our daughter.”
“Again, you want me to stop looking. You want me to be content with crumbs from my life.”
“I want you content withourlife.” He wrenched at his neck, spread his feet, and lifted his lamp at me like they did to witnesses at the Old Bailey. “What’s the baby’s true name?”
“I don’t know.”
“When is her birthday, Lady Ashbrook?”
“I don’t remember.”
“How many hours was your confinement? Were the labor pains dreadful?”
“Don’t know. How many times must I say that?”
Thud, he set down the lamp. “That will be the judge at the Court of Chancery giving possession of Hope to slavers. We lack answers that can’t be found. Who will believe us?”
“Don’t you think I hate this?” I hit my hands at my temples. “The facts should be up there, along with those voices in my nightmares, echoing and loud in that hall as I lay on that cot in misery. They might have something, know something to make the memories return. My daughter’s name should be restored in my head.”
“Her name is Hope, Jemina, but I’m not going to stop you from doing anything. Come home with me to Finchely. Let’s give Hope a home for now with a mama and papa conversing about the day over dinner. We can light candelabras, serve food on Wedgwood.”
“Like you do for cards?”
“The fellows won’t mind those games in my study to offer this vision of home and hearth. Hope loves her pink room, her paints. Let’s give her a family.” He moved from me to the desk and tugged open his drawer. “You’ve been in here too.”
He retrieved correspondences and made a perfectly squared stack. “These are drafts of my letters to the Dunns, my marriage contract and yours, and a few of Phoebe’s letters. There are more of Phoebe’s letters at Finchely.”
“Actually, they are here.” I drew them out of my pocket.
His face dimmed. He twiddled his fingers as he drew his palms together. “You have all I’ve collected. Let’s go get Hope from Sandlin Court and end this evening.”
