“That’s it? No more fighting?”
“No more from me, Jemina. You have to decide what happens next. I want you at my side. I want you safe at home. I can’t make you be my wife or force you to stay at Finchely. Hope is terrified that you will return to the sea.”
“My daughter doesn’t have to fret for me. I’m not going to be without her.”
“Please, both of you should stay at Finchely for now. I’ll soothe her until you come back from your quest for truth.”
He wrapped up my rope. “You widows are good with this tool.”
I grabbed his arm. “Daniel, I don’t understand.”
“Legally, with the paperwork I’ve done, I’m Hope’s guardian, her father. That may be the only thing to keep her from the St. Maurs’ clutches. I’ll not publicly attest to anything differently, but you can dig and put all the pieces back together. I want that for you. I’ll keep her safe in your stead.”
“If I don’t comply, you’ve washed your hands of me? Your love is conditional.”
With a sigh, he fell to his knees, wrapped his arms about my waist. “I love you. Your bravery amazes me. But what I’m offering isn’t enough.”
With my arms at my side not clinging to him, his breath steaming my middle, I was adrift, drowning in this man, his hands slipping the hem of my borrowed shirt, smoothing my back, my hips, but my head was shaking no before I could stop, before I compromised my soul for a thirst to belong to him, and his vision of family.
“Jemina.” His lips closed tight. He stood and buttoned my shirt placard, which had come undone. “I wish I had put the clues together sooner. I wish I had trustedussooner. My fault. My biggest regret.”
Why was he taking the blame? He wasn’t one of those shadowy men who determined my fate. He couldn’t be in that hall, in that hospital and on the docks collecting Hope.
The distant, broken look in his eyes said it all. Daniel had told me his facts and rested his argument. He made me the judge of our fate.
And I was stuck wanting both, what I had in front of me and the past that I hadn’t found a way to leave behind.
He walked to the door. “Let’s go get Hope.”
Nodding to his blanked face, I followed him out of the Lincoln’s Inn. The gap between us widened as he let me lead. He understood, probably better than me, that I couldn’t choose between him and learning the truth.
CHAPTER 51
DANIEL—THEMARRIEDROUTINE
Sitting in his study, looking out the window, Daniel watched the sunset and studied the cards dealt to him. He’d moved his vingt-et-un game from the dining room. It provided a much better view of an errant wife’s coming and going.
One court card, a queen of diamonds, and a deuce of hearts. That was a long way from winning.
“Playing cards in here is different,” Mr. Anthon signaled for a card. “Smaller. I guess that means cozy.”
Mr. Gerard dealt him one. “The wife must’ve wanted the room used for its intended purposes. Nothing wrong with that.”
“No. My choice. It’s better to see the lane, gentlemen. I don’t want to be surprised when Lady Ashbrook arrives.”
Richmond laughed. “See, you’re settling into married life so well. Soon you’ll be a seasoned professional and learn how to tidy things before the wifey fusses.”
Daniel feigned a chuckle and glance toward the road. He was already neat and had been that way since he came to live with Lady Shrewsbury. The hardest thing he ever agreed to was letting Jemina come and go from Finchely as she pleased. He had to act indifferent, not that the not-knowing was killing him.
As a husband, a man desperate for his wife’s safety, he’d been reduced to a henpecked, a nervous Nellie, who wanted to go box with his pugilist friend and let him beat some sense into Daniel. Well, as Jemina had said, he’d been hit too much.
At least Daniel would feel something other than misery and fear. Mr. Mosey’s letters on behalf of the St. Maurs had ratcheted up along with his threats to Jemina’s mental state. As he feared, that family would be a problem for his family.
Mr. Gerard tossed in his cards. Daniel’s appreciation for the butler had grown, and he liked having access to the duke’s spying network. They sent reports that Jemina still took on Widow’s Grace missions, but her partner, the Duchess of Repington was now resigned to Sandlin Court and foot rubs.
Patient, patient, patient. Daniel’s chant to remind him that this was what Jemina wanted. If to be beset with worry was what it took for her to forgive his secrets, then he’d endure. When they reunited, it would be for keeps.
He could wait.
