“Risa—”
“I did this,” she admitted, scooting closer to Javi until she could gather his head in her lap. She swept his hair from his temples, wiped away the smear near his perfect mouth, and cupped his cheek in her hand. His skin was still so warm beneath her fingertips. “This is all my fault.”
Perla shook her head. “It was me. If I hadn’t—”
“I’m cursed,” she confessed in a whisper, finally telling Javi what she should have that first night in the Bosque.
If she had told him the truth from the beginning, then he could have banished her. It would have saved his guards, would have saved everyone from this whole ordeal. Brunhilda’s spell would have killed her, but it was much worse to sit here with Javi lying in her arms, his curls matted with the blood oozing from the wound at her side.
“What?” Amina asked, stone-gray eyes wide.
“I’m a Bad Thing.”
All Risa had been holding in spilled from her mouth like an unstoppered bottle.
“I was born on a day when the rain stops and the sun shines and the world is lit amber gold. In Barrow, that day is known as a Bad Day. Since my birth, terrible things have happened around me.Becauseof me.”
She hardly heard Amina speak her name. “Risa.”
“I used to think everyone was wrong. How could I be the reason a bear ran rampant around town and ate everything? We don’t even have bears in that part of the kingdom. But now I know better. I am why the royal guard was massacred. Why the Sanguines kept finding us. Why the airship crashed. And Javi—”
She blinked down at Javi. At the awful pool of blood growing beneath her. The mirror Linda had given her had shattered against the marble floor, and red specks now glimmered on the scattered pieces. One shard sparkled, embedded in her side.
With blood-soaked fingers acting of their own accord, she gripped the jagged edge and pulled. Pain flared through her body, though it did not compare to the hollow ache she felt at the thought of never hearing Javi speak again.
Risa couldn’t stomach her reflection looking back at her from the glass shard. “I should have told you. I should have left when I had the chance. But I’m selfish, and Brunhilda’s spell hurt me every time I tried to leave your side. I didn’t want to die, but I should have, because all I do is hurt the things I love. And I know I should have said it earlier. I just don’t know how to not be Bad.”
When her tears finally broke through the dam, she did not stop them.
She folded over and sobbed into Javi’s unmoving chest. It was all she could do now. He would never make fun of her again. She’d never hear him needle her about her country upbringing or hear him triumphantly declare he’d finally gotten the backstory he’d so desperately wanted.
“This must be quite embarrassing for you,” Javi groaned.
Risa’s heart stopped.
Javi stirred, moaning in pain.
She sat up, staring down at him in shock as he wiped her cheeks with a brush of his thumb.
“Curses, I think my chest is broken.”
She worked quickly at his doublet, ripping it open. It was only then that she noticed the lack of scarlet across his chest, though plenty of it lay on the floor around him. His heart hammered away beneath her frantic, searching fingers. A hint of gold around his neck caught her eye—a delicate chain—and she yanked at it until the broken remnant of a pocket watch revealed itself. A bullet was lodged in its lid.
Brunie meowed and swatted at it.
“He’s alive,” Amina breathed, wilting into Perla’s arms.
Risa couldn’t hear her. She was too busy staring into Javi’s face, memorizing the way his brows were furrowed and pain pinched the corners of his eyes. How he managed to look so handsome while grievously injured was beyond her. She’d make fun of him about it later.
Javi tugged at one of her disheveled braids. Let his fingers trace the curve of her cheek, thumb swiping at a lingering tear.
“You’re alive,” she answered in disbelief.
“I know your confession loses a bit of its magic with this recent development.” He coughed and followed the sound with a moan. “But you need to listen to me: You’re not cursed. Bad things happen, regardless of whether you’re there or not.”
He must not have understood. She patted his cheek. “It’s okay,” she whispered in reassurance. “I won’t let you get hurt again. I’ll go back to Barrow.” Though it would hurt, she was concerned only with the fact that he had survived.
“You never listen,” Javi admonished.
