“Yes, Dloc was pigheaded, and we fought over your blessing. Yes, he still holds it against me, and thus, by extension, you. But you aren’t deformed; you’re just a little different. You are the one who sees yourself as deformed and you are the only one who can fix that,” she scoffs. “Also, there is no destiny. There are only various paths and outcomes based on a collection of people’s choices.”
No destiny? I havenodestiny?
Erif returns to tending the small fire. I can’t take it, her poking, her prodding. Am I not even worth her time? Why in Wickery did she bring me here if not to talk to me? To only tell me my entire mindset was wrong?
I shove forward and grab the fireplace poker. “My life is worth more than this. Please, tell me what is going on. If I’m not dead, then why am I here? Can I go back?”
She pushes me with a white-hot hand. I fly through the room and slam against a wall. “This fire is your life, Adraa. If you wish for it to die, interrupt me again.”
I stay silent, staring at the fire. My life?Thatis my life? The fire is small right now. One could even call it weak.
The next time the goddess speaks it is in a whisper. “I’m going to tell you why you are here, but we need to give your body and mind a little time to adapt. As for blessing you, it’s as political and complicated up here as it is down there. I saw your strength, your position, and I wanted you to be under my name.”
“More like wanted to use me,” I say under my breath.
She hears nonetheless. “How have I used you? I didn’t give you firelight. You came up with that spell on your own. You changed your world. I might have foreseen youcouldchange it, but I didn’t know how, when, orifyou would. No one did.”
“And yet I died at my royal ceremony.”
Her eyes turn red. I step back on instinct. “Almostdied. Almost! I decided to save you. So show some appreciation. And grow up, because we don’t have time for all your problems. I need to warn you before it’s too late.”
“About what?” I swear, if the nightmares were a warning Dloc was going to kill me when I tried to perform the Royal Ceremony, I’m going to scream.
“I don’t think you are ready to hear it yet. Almost dying and coming here is strenuous on the body. And this is my first time doing something like this. Do you want…tea?”
Something is wrong with her. “No.” I sit on one of the satin-cushioned sofas. Maybe she’s right; maybe my bodyisstill messed up. The pain of the blizzard is only a memory, but it shoots through me regardless, as if it has soaked into my marrow.
Erif checks the fire one more time. “Your mother is talented. I knew she could do this. Your sister too.”
“My…mother? Prisha? What are you talking about?”
“They are keeping your physical body alive. On the other side of the hearth.”
I stare at the embers. In the smoke and ash I think I can see my mother hovering over my body. For a flash, Jatin’s hollow expression flickers in the flame. I blink and try to stare harder, but the image is gone. “They think I’m dying?”
“Yes.”
I stand up, bumping the table out of the way. “Please, put me back! You can’t do that to them.”
“I need you here. I need to warn you.”
“Then tell me. For blood’s sake, tell me.”
Her eyes flick to the fire. It has brightened slightly. “I need to make sure you can pull through or none of this is worth anything. You will be worthless.”
She means I’ll be dead, truly dead. I watch my fire too; trying to breathe evenly, trying to fill my lungs with life. I go through the motions, but it’s unnatural, like a fish out of water. For there is no air in this world and I don’t have to breathe.
The fire pulses. Amid the flames, my body arches in a jolt. I see the edge of the clinic table and the smear of blood. I want to live.
“Good. Promising. Very promising.” Erif spins back to me, her neck turning just past possible twist. I want to throw up.
“Mount Gandhak is about to erupt and it’s because of your magic.”
I shrink. “What?”
“Firelight, your firelight, was used to set Mount Gandhak to erupt. In the next hours the capital of Naupure will die and all of Belwar will be melted away.”
My brain tries to process what she is telling me. Mount Gandhak isn’t an active volcano. But Erif would know. She’s a bloody goddess. And she reigns over one thing.
