Four words. Words that I knew were coming, yet they drive a knife right into the center of my chest.
“Oh. Well… that’s… good?”
We look at each other as if we both know neither of us actually thinks it’s anywhere near good.
Because it downright sucks.
It sucks that as soon as my car is repaired, Amelia and I will load all of our things into it and drive away from this amazing town. Away from this incredible man. And maybe, just maybe, away from the heart that’ll also be left behind.Myheart.
A call comes in, vibrating my phone. I ignore it.
“Don’t you want to get that?” he asks, breaking our stare.
“Nobody ever calls me. I’m sure it’s someone calling to sell me an extended warranty.”
He walks over to the table and looks at it. “It’s definitely not a telemarketer.”
I narrow my eyes. “How could you possibly know that?”
He holds it out. “Because it saysDad.”
My pulse shoots through the roof. Dad hasn’t called me since… Well, I can’t remember the last time he picked up a phone and initiated a call.
“Excuse me,” I say, swiping it from him and heading to the stairs, where I shut the door behind me and sit on the top step. I press the green circle and inhale deeply. “Hello?”
“I just got off the phone with your husband,” Dad says without any sort of greeting. “Or should I say yourex-husband. Kenna, really? God intended for marriage to be permanent.”
My father has no idea what’s going on with my life, my ex, my daughter, my whereabouts, or my bank account. Because the last time we spoke was a few weeks before Cyrus and I split up.
Eighteen months. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve heard my own father’s voice.
Guilt sears through me. I should have called. I should have reached out sooner. But I knew how he’d react to all of it. To everything good and bad that’s happened in my life. According to my father, you either live by the Bible or you do the devil’s work. There is no in-between. And I guess I was just tired of looking like a sinner in his eyes.
“I know, Daddy. But you weren’t there. Cyrus wasn’t a good husband.”
“Or maybe you weren’t a supportive wife.”
That cuts to the bone. Because I was. I may not have loved Cyrus as deeply as a woman should love the man she married. But I most certainly was supportive. I did things I didn’t necessarily like doing but thought were what good wives should do. Marriage was all about compromise. Right? And Iwasa good wife, keeping him fed and his house clean. I tolerated his drinking. His weekends away with the guys. His increasing disdain toward Amelia. I might have even continued tolerating those things, mainly because I didn’t see myself earning enough of a living to support me and my daughter.
In hindsight, it’s become clear I was the only one making compromises. And it was a sheer stroke of luck that we divorced when we did. And especially that he initiated it anddid everything he could to accelerate it. A fact Cyrus is surely regretting to this very day.
“He had issues, Dad.”
He laughs. “Men aren’t perfect. You have to allow for that in a marriage. Unless he lifted his hand to you. Did he?”
“He never hit me, if that’s what you’re asking. But near the end, I thought he might be capable of it.”
“You can’t divorce on the thought of what someonemightdo, Kenna. Did you even go to counseling?”
“He… he had a gambling problem. Did he tell you that when he called? I assume not. He had this guy coming after him because he owed over a hundred thousand dollars. What does the Bible say about gambling?”
As soon as the words leave my mouth, I want to take them back. Because I know my father is strictly against all kinds of gambling, not just themoney-on-sportsorbetting-on-pokerkind.
“Christians are encouraged to be content with what they have rather than risking it on chance. The Bible promotes gaining wealth through honest work, not luck. Gambling leads to greed, risk of addiction, and potential for exploitation.”
“Exactly. Daddy, Cyrus was addicted. And he’s definitely greedy.”
“You could have stayed and waited it out. He could have been helped. The Lord could have helped him.”
