My own house.
It’s not a home, and it never has been.
It never will be again.
Rachel and I had always spent the day after Christmas at Pandora’s house to escape our own families, and despite how terrifying the Pavones are, they’d never been less than welcoming. I don’t know how much Pandora told them about our home lives, but the fact that we found solace in the company of Giulio Pavone and his comrades told them a lot.
This year is different because Samantha and I are both here on Christmas Day. I’m not sure how her Christmases have been—probably a lot of church—but mine have never been anything worth mentioning.
Unless, of course, I wanted to mention something shitty, and I hadn’t.
“I don’t want to be here,” I mutter to Samantha.
“Neither do I,” she murmurs back.
I glance up at the tree, which the entire family had decorated together, and it’s one more thing I’ve never had. It makes a lump form in my throat, and I want to go upstairs and get away from all of this.
Giulio Pavone looks like an average father at Christmas with his Santa hat and ridiculous Christmas sweater, though the Argentine tegu sitting on his shoulder is… different.
Pandora’s mother Vanessa, her daddy Damien Rossi, and her Uncle Slayer are dressed in Christmas-themed outfits too. Her sister Mel is dressed in an elaborate, dark purple dress with lacy accents all over, and Pandora is wearing a red knitted dress.
Samantha and I would look out of place in our casual clothing if it hadn’t been for Ares and Kratos also wearing regular jeans and sweaters.
I feel out of place anyway.
“Can we eat first?” Kratos asks, typing on his phone.
“Nope!” Giulio bends down to pick up a present. “Presents first. Weren’t you up all night, listening for Santa’s reindeer on the roof?”
Ares laughs. “The only thing I heard wasooh, more! Harder!”
Pandora grins. “Santa was getting very naughty last night, huh?”
“Santa is always naughty in this house,” Kratos says without looking up from his phone. “And so are his elves. Duh.”
The casual banter and camaraderie are typical for the Pavone household, and once, I’d found I liked it.
Now I feel like an outsider.
I'd had to listen to music so I didn't overhear the Pavone parents going at it one floor below. How Pandora can sit there with a straight face, joking about her parents having sex… I'd wished for spontaneous combustion when I'd heard that first loud moan.
I’ve never heard my parents having sex. Only yelling and items being thrown.
“Hey, hey, no disrespecting Santa,” Giulio admonishes, before he smiles widely. “The elves outdid themselves last night, though. Mrs. Clause was very satisfied.”
Damien’s expression doesn’t change at all, but Slayer laughs along with Ares, Kratos, and Pandora.
Samantha seems even more mortified than I am. “Excuse me,” she says, and without waiting for a response, she flees the living room.
I consider going after her, but I’m already on thin enough ice with the Pavones.
“Giulio!” Vanessa says, her cheeks flushing crimson. “We haveguests.”
“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Giulio says. “Pandora, you go get her. Tell Samantha you kids will behave and stop trying to embarrass Mama in front of everyone.”
“You mostly embarrass yourselves,” Ares says, but he shuts up after a glare from Vanessa.
“Okay. You can start without us,” Pandora says. She gives me a quick kiss on my cheek. “They don’t bite,” she whispers, before she goes off to find Samantha again.
