“We need to tell Slim,” she corrected. “He better go see his grandma tonight.”
I texted Cash and Jelani and hoped like hell this shit worked out. Because whether he wanted to accept it or not, his life now had a countdown.
22 /CARMELO “SLIM” HAWKINS
Anguilla.That’s where they were sending me
“It’s warm and it’s one of the safest islands in the Caribbean,” Nairobi said. She made it seem like I was going on vacation instead of me hiding from a psychopath. Everyone had come back to the safe house to be briefed on how this great escape was supposed to go.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I prayed no one had heard it. I wasn’t supposed to be using it to talk to anyone except the crew and Nana.
But I’d texted Drea from this number. I just needed to see her one last time before I fell off the face of the earth. I needed to feel like I had control over one final thing.
“Shit, I’d love to be in Anguilla,” Jelani said, trying to lighten the mood. “Beaches, good food, good weather. You lucked up, bruh. Could’ve been somewhere in Europe. At least you not finna be halfway across the world.”
“Feel free to change places with me,” I grumbled.
I’d spent the whole week beating myself up for being so careless. For letting Sasha be a distraction when I knew what I really wanted. All that time wasted entertaining something that was never going anywhere, especially another man’s wife. Iwasn’t proud of it, and I damn sure wasn’t mourning her. Cold, but it’s the truth. I cared for her the way you care for someone when you’re both caught up in the same situation, but I never loved her. She knew that. And whatever feelings I had left were buried under the reality that her husband was now trying to kill me and possibly everyone I cared about because of the choices we both made.
I could’ve been putting that energy into Drea. But I saw how Nairobi leaving Fontaine crushed him and I wasn’t about to try and run a woman down who didn’t want me.
“I’ll pick up everything from Hana tomorrow,” Nairobi cut through my thoughts as my phone buzzed again. I could feel Cash’s eyes on me from across the room. We hadn’t spoken since the last time he was here, and the judgement in his glare said everything.This is what your mess cost us.
“I’m gonna stop by my grandmother’s tomorrow,” I said. “I know I won’t be able to talk to her, but can y’all just keep me updated, make sure I know she’s okay while I’m gone?”
“I’ll go with you,” Fontaine said.
I nodded and pretended to be engaged with whatever else they were talking about while my brain worked in the background. Drea would have to come here. I couldn’t risk going to her house, not knowing if Messiah’s people already had eyes on her—if he even tied her to me. Couldn’t go to her shop.
“Are you listening?” Cash snapped.
“My bad,” I said, lifting my hands. “This is my fault. I know. It’s just… a lot.” My throat tightened, pride fighting me even as I forced the words out. “And I’m sorry my fuck up dragged y’all into this. I’m grateful y’all ain’t tossed my ass to the wolves, ‘cause I know I deserve it.”
“Players fuck up every day, b,” Jelani said. “I mean, maybe not this badly, but no one here is without fault.”
“Yeah.”
I just needed to see Drea one more time. One more chance to say how I felt and then disappear like I was supposed to.
“I just need like twenty minutes tops,” I told Fontaine when he pulled up in front of Nana’s building.
He cut the engine and looked over at me. “I know everyone’s been on your ass, but don’t rush it with your grandma. I know how much she means to you.”
I nodded and got out the car. I inhaled deeply and made my way into the familiar building, nodding at the dudes outside.
The hallway smelled like my childhood—there was meat sauce simmering, grease from something fried.
I knocked and then used my key to let myself in.
“Nana!” I called out.
I heard some movement from the back of the apartment near her bedroom. She appeared a few moments later.
“What you doing here, Melo?” She looked me up and down like she already knew this wasn’t a social call. She was dressed with her purse in hand like she had somewhere to be.
“I need to talk to you right quick,” I said, eyeing her outfit. “Where you headed?”
“Me and Mavis from down the hall going to bingo tonight.” She beamed as she moved past me into the living room. She settled into her armchair. “Now what you need to talk to me about?”
