By the time I was to serve Lord Aegir his dinner, my bleeding had started and those nasty cramps had thankfully subsided. Yet the constant dull pain in my lower back and belly persisted. Just a mild inconvenience for my feeble body, I told myself.
Come on, one final push and you can go to bed.
I was leaning over, setting up his table, and when I straightened myself, I knew that he stood right behind me. I felt his cool.
Too close.
I moved around the table, giving the cutlery a new place to rest, an excuse to set some distance between us.
“Are you hurt?” His voice was firm, yet I wasn’t sure if I heard a flicker of concern tingeing it. I didn’t look back to confirm it.
I also wasn’t sure what he meant by that. Was he asking about my bruised arms and shoulders? But those marks were concealed beneath my dress. Perhaps I had indeed failed to hide my pain earlier. So I only asked, “What?”
“You’re bleeding. Did he hurt you?”
Why is his voice so low? And why is he asking about my cycle?If you could call it that. There was nothing harmoniously cyclical about it.
I was about to take another step, but he caught me by my elbow, the backs of his fingers momentarily brushing my waist.
I stilled.
If I had to use one word to describe what I felt at that very moment, only a complex one would come to mind.Paradoxical. His grip, tight yet gentle, a threat and a caress, present yet ethereal. It felt as if warmth and cool coursed along my skin, deeper.
“Tell me. Did he hurt you?”
Yes. He did hurt me.
But I only glanced at him from over my shoulder and said, “Women bleed, Lord Hailin.” And I swore he stiffened before letting go of my arm with the slowness of an old snail in the midst of a parched road. His hold I knew was no longer there, yet I could still feel its imprint—like a phantom touch. “Good night, Lord Hailin.”
“Good night, Cordelia.”
I collapsed onto my bed, finally at peace, and melted as my discomfort transitioned into a soft and peaceful sensation along my belly, my back.Finally,gone. As soon as my head touched the pillow, I drifted off into a dreamless world.
CHAPTER 9
The past week was monotonous, but I embraced it.
I embraced the repetition, the silence, the exchange of only a few words a day.
I helped Sabriela carry the tea trolley up to the second floor, then I went to fetch cleaning supplies. I had been meaning to dust Lord Aegir’s furniture for a while now, but I kept postponing it—avoiding it, really. Today, I figured, would be opportune as he was to be away for the whole afternoon.
I was mistaken. He was there when I entered his room.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll come back later,” I said.
“You can stay.”
I paused, then nodded.
I worked swiftly and silently. The only sounds in the room were those of dripping water whenever I wrung out cloths, or those of papers being flipped, whenever Aegir turned over pages or opened scrolls.
A knock came at the door.
“Tea service!” Her sweet voice made its way from behind the door. I was already smiling when I opened it.
“Oh! Hi again. Would Lord Hailin like some tea? Or perhaps a carob sweet?” Sabriela asked, craning her head, trying to get a glimpse of Aegir somewhere behind me.
“Hello, young one,” he greeted from behind me. He smiled broadly at her. I realised then that I hadn’t seen his genuinesmile up until that moment…and his pointy canines. I noticed those, too. “I’ll have the usual, please.”
