I was on the second floor when another one hit me. I was sure I would faint soon. I needed to rest, at least for a little bit. I made it along the never-ending corridor in small steps until reaching its corner. I leaned myself and the weight of the stuffed basin against the wall. My legs gave in and I tumbled to the floor, basin at my side, holding my belly. A persistent ringing noise buzzed in my ear, and I was sure I was going to barf.I should wear a cloth soon. But first I needed to rest, to gather myself.
The little shred of composure I managed to syphon was not good enough, though.
Is he not wearing his keys today?
No, there they were. It was me, I did not hear him approach.
“Delia! What in Amfir’s name are you doing?” I shot to my feet. The floor swayed beneath me, feeling as if it had turned into quicksand. And it was either the walls or my own head that spun like a spinning top. “Slacking off, lying there on the floor like some street dog!”
“I felt dizzy, I fell.”
“Oh, poor Delia. Do you think me that gullible?” He grabbed hold of my arm—his favourite spot—then pushed me against the wall. He had no idea how close I was to throwing up all over him. “I warned you not to slack off, but always the insubordinate, always thinking that you can do whatever you want around here. Do you forget that you are no longer Prince Semuel’s little servant?” That last part hit me hard, right through my chest.
“No. I haven’t forgotten!” I wanted to scream at his stupid, ugly face.
I yanked my hand free and lifted the basin, but he did not allow me to take more than two steps. He jerked my elbow, the basin falling to the floor, the sheets here and there. “Did you hear me dismiss you?”
“I was continuing with work. I swear I was just resting because I felt dizzy.”
Mounir closed the distance between us. It disgusted me how he made me share his foul breath. Too. Fucking. Close. He grabbed me with both hands between my neck and shoulders and pressed down. He dug his thumbs and forefingers so hard, I expected my neck muscles to tear.
“Kneel.”
Semuel’s voice spoke in my head.Always know your worth, Wildheart, even when the other person has more power over you.
My jaw tightened. “You arenotmy king.” I held the little strength I had left, shaking, but holding.
“You are nobody. Kneel.” His tone turned harsh and he pressed harder. Much harder. My legs betrayed me and I dropped to the floor. He kept pressing. “Now that you’verestedlong enough, go to the laundry room and do not come out of there until after dusk, only to serve Lord Hailin his dinner. Clara will continue with the rooms.”
My usual punishment—the laundry room. But perhaps for today only, I would savour it, as I couldn’t physically climb up and down any more stairs.
I lowered my head, avoiding his gaze. I had to. Otherwise it would have felt like an invasion of my own privacy. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. I didn’t want him to know that tears had lined my eyes. Not tears of pain, nor tears of self-pity. No. They were tears of frustration and anger. I may have wished that Daekon had taken his life instead of his brother’s.
Mounir finally let go of my shoulders and I felt a small hint of relief as I watched his feet disappear from my vision. He walked away, humming and whistling as if nothing had just fucking happened. I did not lift my head, even after his whistles ebbed into nothing, just like the fainting sound of clinking keys.
I crammed the sheets back into the basin, and once I was sure he was out of hearing range, I murmured under my breath, “Go fuck yourself, you filthy piece of shit.”
“Oof! My, my, Cordelia. The rage, the ire. I swear it’s palpable.” I didn’t have to lift my head to know it was Lord Aegir Hailin who stood to my left. I could tell he was leaning against the wall, based on the positioning of his legs—one crossed over the other. And I was certain that if I dared look up, his armswould’ve been crossed over his chest, his face lit up with a smug smile, surely. “Was it him? It was, wasn’t it? Oh, I bet you wish to gut him, to see his blood spill all over the carpet. I’d wager you wouldn’t even bother to clean the mess.”
Yes.
Yes, I did wish that. But I kept my head down and answered sharply, “I only wish for him to stop.”
“Stop him, then,Wildheart,” he purred, his tone laced with excitement. “Take your revenge.”
I no longer gave two shits about who saw my teary face and I just snapped at him. “Themerciless brutedares mock me—a mere servant—for not seeking revenge.” I scoffed. I heard nothing about how the Hailins heroically stood up for the Ilmans.
Lord Hailin bored into me with his bristling eyes. His voice turned low. “Careful now, or you’ll tempt me to freeze that filthy little tongue of yours.”
A very small part of myself wanted to stick my tongue out at him but I resisted the urge. I grabbed the basin and stood, perhaps a bit too quickly, wishing that my step did not falter and that my wince was not as obvious. The next untimely cramp made it very hard to shroud my pain.
“Are you all right?” the Ice Prince asked, his voice turning careful.
I did not look at him. I didn’t bother with replies. With small steps, I made my way downstairs, thanking whichever god that I had to spend the next hours confined in one dark space. Just me, my pain, and my lovely thoughts.
I was pleased to see that my undergarment was not yet stained. At least one good thing had happened.
Back in the laundry room, I looked at the heaped pile of white sheets that were still to be scrubbed. It made my stomachuneasy. And the fact that Clara was up there fetching more…gods, I could not wait for this day to be fucking over.
