I lost count of the number of times I went up and down the stairs carrying heavy loads of sheets, the number of beds I made. Then it crept up on me, a sharp cramp in my lower belly. A searing one, leaving me bent over and grunting.Ugh. After three months of scarce faint pains and no traces of blood, it decided to show up today.
Another one hit me intensely. Sweat formed at both sides of my face, my neck. My necklace felt tacky against my chest, hidden beneath the jewel neckline of my dress. A memory resurfaced. A memory of the day I bled for the first time.
“Selmira! Selmira! I’m dying!”
I was confused by her soft chuckles. “My sweet Delia, do not panic. That’s normal. It means that you have become a woman now. You are no longer a child.” Her voice was sweet as honey, and I could feel it getting the better of my temper.
I grunted. “But the blood, and the pain, it’s too much. I might need a doctor.”
“There is no need for a doctor. The sharp, unbearable pain is normal, unfortunately, yet the blood you shed, it’s a blessing from Amfir. But we can make it better. I’ll go get you some chamomile tea and a blanket for your belly.” She halted midway and without looking at me said, “Oh, and I’ll get you cloths for your undergarment. I’ll show you how to wear—”
“Fuck! Fuck! Ffff—”
Selmira spun around so fast. “Cordelia Wildheart! You watch that filthy mouth of yours! Just because you’re in pain does not give you the right to swear.”
“I’m sorry, it’s just—” My sentence ended in a groan. This one made me feel like my sweat was being wrung out of my bones.
“Just lie on the couch and wait there!” Selmira ordered, pinching between her brows.
I stumbled towards the couch and waited while my cramps left and came as they pleased. One moment of sweet relief followed by another excruciating pulse of pain.
After the blood-and-pain situation was under control, I lay on the couch, fatigued. Selmira sat at the end of it, right next to my feet.
“Does this mean that I have to leave now?” I asked, my voice low.
“You know I’ve been dreading this moment since the day I laid my gaze on those big brown eyes of yours.” She did not have to say it out loud; the look on her face was telltale.
“Sand Priestess Constance said that rules are rules and that when we become women, we are asked to leave, so that there would always be space for smaller children.” A lump rose in my throat that I painfully swallowed. The dry air did not help.
“I wish I could let you stay.” Her hand reached for my ankle. “Well, there is one way for you to stay.” My eyes shone, then dimmed as she continued. “But you’d first have to enrol as an acolyte at the Priestess Convent and become a Sand Priestess yourself, and then you could come work here.”
I imagined myself as a Sand Priestess.Ridiculous, I thought. And besides, I had a lingering feeling that Amfir did not like me very much. So I replied quietly, “I don’t feel his calling.”
“Martin Seid, the stableman who visits us from Sharlam, told me that there is a job opportunity, that he can arrange an interview for you to work as a servant at the Sand Castle. I told him that you were not yet of age, but it seems that Amfir thought otherwise.”
Did he now?
“It’s a blessing, I can feel it,” Selmira asserted.
After soaking in what she had just said—realising the worth of the chance, the possibility within it—I whispered, “The Sand Castle?”
Oh! Me, imagine that! Me, living in Sharlam, in the Sand Castle. The place—the place where the king lives, and oh, his companions and his many children live there, too. No, not children, princes and princesses!
“Would that interest you? Martin said he could take you there next week.”
“Next week? But that’s too soon…I—I don’t think I can leave just yet. Can’t I stay for a bit longer, a few weeks, perhaps?”
“The interview would be over by then. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, gifted to you by Amfir, I’m sure. You would have a decent job and you could set aside a small fortune, and then do whatever you want with it—buy something. And you would have a roof over your head, shelter, and food andwater. Delia, those are the things humans need to survive. You would be fed and safe there.”
I swallowed, taking in her words of wisdom.
“All right. Tell him—tell him I accept.” Excitement and fear rolled off my tongue hand in hand.
“I’ll miss you, my sweetheart. Use what you have learned here to make yourself a great worker and an even better person. And you’d better not swear at the castle!”
“I won’t. I promise. I’ll miss you too. And Nutmeg and Linda. And maybe Sand Priestess Constance, but not as much as you.” Selmira laughed, but her shimmering eyes were a second away from spilling tears.
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
