Chapter 29
Sky
I didn't summon Lil to my father's office. Instead, I'm on my way to her, hoping she'll recognize my goodwill. I've swapped my high heels and business attire for sneakers and boyfriend jeans. I'm sweating under the snug wool sweater even though it's too thin for early January.
My steps echo through the hallway, and the documents in my left hand are getting damp.
By the time I reach her office, I'm so out of breath that I need to pause and catch my breath before opening the door.
"Hey," I say softly upon entering. "Happy New Year."
Lil looks up from her computer. Her desk is cluttered with folders, loose papers, and magazines. There's hardly a free spot, and the corners of individual sheets are wedged beneath the keyboard.
"Can I disturb you for a moment?" I close the door behind me and smile openly at her. The rustling sound of the documents, which my fingers keep fidgeting with, fills the modernly furnished room.
"What's up?" She swivels her chair to face me, her expression conveying sober professionalism.
I gesture to the chair beside her desk. She huffs in annoyance but at least nods. As I sit down, I search for the right words. I had them on the way here, but now my mind is blank.
"I'm sorry," I say meekly, my shoulders slumping.
She raises an eyebrow and crosses her arms. "Oh really? What exactly are you sorry for?"
"That I was such an idiot." My attempt at a shrug is as unsuccessful as my apologetic smile. "I've made so many mistakes, and I know I can't undo them. But I'd do anything to start fresh with both of us."
Lines form on her forehead as she tilts her head to the side. "Is that your New Year's resolution?"
Summoning all my courage, I stand and crouch down in front of her. "Tell me what I can do, Lil. What do you need to forgive me?"
She gazes at me. She doesn't respond for minutes, and I endure the silence. "Why did you leave me alone?" she finally asks.
I can't answer that question.
Only the truth matters, Kjell's deep voice whispers, and his words resonate within me now, just as they did back then.
What if I'm at least honest with her?
Lil used to be not only my only friend but also my best friend. We shared everything with each other. What will she think when she learns I've been lying to her today?
Kjell's stories about his parents' lie flutter through my thoughts. His disappointment, anger, and the painful experience of being stripped of his reality in an instant.
It's a new year. A fresh start.
That's what I've committed to.
"My father wanted it this way," I confess. It feels strange to reveal this to her, but it's good. It allows me to breathe a little easier. "He banned me from any contact."
She shakes her head in disbelief. "But why?"
I set the documents aside, sit on the office floor, and lean against the cabinet behind Lil's desk. Then I nod toward the spot beside me, and to my surprise, she takes a seat.
I tell her everything, from the drugs and the fashion show to therapy, dancing, and the dance academy I secured a spot in with my father's money. I share about Paris and about Aurora, to whom I've never revealed a word about my past.
"I kept my promise," I say meaningfully as I look at her. "Until now."
Lil nods thoughtfully and then pulls me into her arms. "I'm so sorry," she breathes into my hair.
I shake my head against her shoulder. "No, I'm sorry," I reply and let my tears flow freely. An overwhelming sense of relief washes over me. I inhale deeply, and my chest rises without resistance.
