With lips pressed together, she blinks rapidly. "If I talk to the press, my father will never forgive me. So I won't do it. And that's all there is to it," she replies firmly.
I look at her intently, noticing the trembling hair tips, the fluttering eyelids, the reddened lower lip she keeps biting.
It's clear that the thought of disappointing her father overshadows everything, and no one can change that. She must realize on her own that she will only be free if she takes control of her own life.
"I just want a chance to be part of the family again," she whispers in the silence between us.
I'd like to ask her which family she means, because in reality, she doesn't have one anymore. Her mother is gone. Whether her father wakes up again is in the hands of fate. Whether he fully recovers as well.
"I understand," I say gently even though my throat tightens.
I look out the window, into the sky, where millions of stars seem to be burning brightly in the sunlight. There's only one she has longed for her entire life even though she already carries all of them within herself.
No, both of us can do it—when she finally stops hiding. That's what becomes clear to me now, amid my emotional turmoil. Her only real chance is to face reality, and I can't leave her alone in that process.
It will hurt more than she imagines right now, but afterward, she'll see the world through different eyes.
Only when she does that—and not a moment sooner—will she be able to handle my truth.
I slide my hand down her arm and entwine my fingers with hers. "Let me help you," I say because that's what I want more than anything. I'll be there for her, accompany her on her journey, and make sure she goes through with it.
No matter how difficult it gets. I have to keep my secret a little longer. For her.
Some of her stiffness fades away, and a hint of a smile touches her lips. "Okay," she says, so relieved that my heart constricts painfully.
We can do this together. I'll be gentle and help her reveal her truth piece by piece. Then she won't be afraid of me anymore. And she'll believe that I would never harm her.
Hopefully.
Losing her would be the worst thing that could happen.
