Chapter 38
Vico
I can't believe I actually made it here. And now, as I step out of my car and look around the vineyard illuminated by spotlights, I no longer understand how Camilla managed to convince me.
Do you really want to let her go without talking to her?she asked me, looking at me as if her heart would break along with mine.
Why does it matter so much to you?I inquired.
Because I want nothing more than for you to be happy,came her reply.
As if she knew better what makes me happy than I do myself.
I shut the car door and stroll absentmindedly toward the entrance.
Being happy, what is that?
Is it knowing that Hanna probably has a better life with her Florian than with me? Or is it facing my fears and fighting for something I'm not even sure exists? And if it is indeed real, will it eventually plunge me into the same abyss as my father?
With heavy shoulders, I enter the vineyard.
"Can I help you?" An elderly server in a black shirt and apron approaches me. Her hair is elegantly tied into a knot, not a strand out of place. She looks at me attentively.
I interlace my fingers and smile silently at her, unsure of what to say. Is it better to stay or to leave?
"Do you have a reservation?" she inquires.
I have no idea. "Um…," I let my gaze wander, but the dining area is small, and I only see an elderly couple, a large family, and a group of young women. Hanna is not here. Maybe Camilla misunderstood her.
The server raises an eyebrow. "What's the name?"
"No, I…"
Suddenly, her face takes on a knowing expression. "You booked the candlelight dinner at the vineyard for the young lady from Austria, didn't you?"
Candlelight dinner?
"Oh, how shy young people are these days." She hooks her arm through mine. "Come along, you're surely being eagerly awaited."
I would doubt that. Hanna should have known about my arrival in order to announce me. Maybe someone entirely different is expected. This Florian, for example. Nevertheless, I let myself be led by her without resistance. We traverse the bustling restaurant, step out into the quiet backyard, and keep walking until we reach the rows of grapevines.
Over there, between the long rows, a space is reserved. A square table with two chairs sits amid nature. Candlelight not only bathes the surroundings in gentle hues but also illuminates Hanna's face.
With a blend of nostalgia and dreaminess, she gazes down the hill into the valley, now cloaked in twilight. She absentmindedly twirls a glass of water in her hand. Impossible as it may be, she looks more beautiful than ever before.
"I'll find the way from here," I tell the server, who turns away with a knowing smile. Once she's out of my sight, doubts assail me once again. What would happen if I approach Hanna now and admit that I want to let her go, but simply can't? And what if I don't?
Nervously, I take a step to the side. A branch snaps loudly beneath my shoe, pulling Hanna out of the world she had retreated into. She looks over at me, and I am instantly frozen.
For seconds, we gaze at each other. I try to read her eyes, wondering if she's disappointed in me. If my panicked escape from Father's birthday party hurt her too deeply. And if her heart is also pounding too fiercely against her chest.
Slowly, the corners of her mouth turn up. I walk toward her, her smile becoming more pronounced. We repeat this dance until I reach the table.
"Buona sera," I say timidly.
She gestures to the empty chair. "Take a seat." Her voice doesn't reveal what she feels, but her expression weakens my knees.
After settling into the chair, she straightens her posture. "Why did you come?" she asks, looking deep into my eyes as though she already knows the answer to her question.
