"Ooooh, that sounds intriguing," Elina fidgets on the sofa. "Tell me everything."
Noah, who has been quiet in the background, steps closer and nods encouragingly. There's no reason to hide something that's been affecting me, so I share with them the story of our encounter.
I tell them about the moment I first looked into his magical eyes. About the closed-off sadness that surrounded him at first. And about his longing for freedom, which I could feel in every moment with him.
Our deep conversations. And the way he looked at me when I talked about my dreams.
"We showed each other the colors of our desires. And it was… so liberating." The memory rises bittersweetly within me.
Elina clasps her hands to her chest. "Oh, how wonderful," she exclaims with delight. "It sounds amazing."
"That was the thing. However, with each passing day, it became clearer that there can be no future for us," I continue sadly.
I share in detail about the estate, the broken family, and Vico's big dream of cliff diving.
"He wants to be free. Lead an unattached life. Adrenaline is his happiness engine," I shrug.
Elina tilts her head thoughtfully. "And do you think he wouldn't be willing to give up his freedom for you?"
Not in my wildest dreams would I think of asking that of him. But that's not the point. By getting engaged to Florian, I deeply hurt him. Even if he might have honestly hoped at some pointthat we could have a future together, I surely destroyed that possibility.
Instead of answering Elina, I just wearily shake my head.
"What about you? Would you be willing to give up your security for him?" She looks at me expectantly.
"You mean, travel with him in his camper and live hand-to-mouth?" I had never thought about that. All I had in mind was the vision of both of us on the estate. Although breaking up with Florian meant giving up more security than I ever thought possible, it doesn't mean that I can just do whatever I want now, right?
Could I really give up any form of stability? And even if I could, would it be enough to let Vico know how much he means to me? Could it heal the hurt I caused him?
Elina's eyes sparkle conspiratorially. "Why not?" she says, as if it were the easiest thing ever. "That's how it is with true love, as you told me just a few weeks ago."
"But I don't even know what he really feels," I counter.
Maybe I was the only one feeling the sparks whenever we were close. Besides, he acted so strangely distant after finding out about my epilepsy. Perhaps my engagement was just the final blow, but there was already a wall between us before.
She seems completely unfazed by my objections. "Then find out."
It's not that simple. "Even if I could leave everything that ever mattered to me behind, that wouldn't be…" I pause as a thought emerges from nowhere. "Vico will never be truly free as long as his family is unhappy," I say. His sisters mean everything to him.
Elina might say something in response, but I don't hear it. I'm too busy continuing my train of thought.
"…and his family will be unhappy if they're homeless," I murmur, touching my forehead as if that would help me thinkbetter. "So if I manage to take away his worries about his family…and thus give him the freedom he longs for…"
Yes. If I make that possible for him, maybe he could forgive me.
Breathlessly, I grab Elina's hands. "I will save the estate from being sold." Who knows if Florian even wants to buy it now that he has lost his only employee?
She blinks in confusion. She must think I'm crazy. And maybe it is a bit crazy. Because if it were that easy, I would have already come up with an idea of how to do it.
"There must be a way," I say because I want to believe in nothing else. "I will find it." And once his family is safe, I'll give up my own security for Vico.
