"Even if it's not necessary," Josh says with a smile,briefly caressing my bare skin. "We know you'll easily pass the exam." His eyes are filled with love.
How can he believe in me so unconditionally?
I press my lips together. "That's incredibly kind of you," I manage to croak. But that's not even close to what I want to say.Stay away from me, my mind dictates.Hold on to me, my heart whispers. And in the midst of it all, I stand helplessly, shifting from one foot to the other. Silent. Because I don't know what's right and what's wrong. I don't know anything anymore.
Beside me, a door opens, and the atmosphere becomes frantic.
"Looks like it's starting," I say, taking a deep breath and straightening my shoulders.
Now or never.
"Good luck, Maya." Sophia nestles against my hips.
I stroke her head. "From now on, let's keep our fingers crossed, okay?"
"Yeah." As if to prove it, she shows me her little fingers crossed over. "I won't let go until you come out again."
I thank her with a hug. Then I straighten up. The hallway is empty now; the other exam candidates are already in the lecture hall. It's time for me to get started as well. But as I turn to leave, Josh holds me back.
"This is for you," he says, pressing a black box into my hand. "To calm your nerves." He winks at me conspiratorially, and instantly, it feels like the moment is illuminated by a beacon of light.
I take the box. "Thank you," I mutter quickly and make my way forward.
"You can do this." I hear Josh's words from a distance, yet I feel how much they uplift me. I evenmanage to smile a little as I'm assigned a seat in the third row.
Once I arrive, I eagerly open the box and find an MP3 player and headphones inside. There's also a note from Josh. It simply saysThe Melody of Our Dreams. Nothing more.
The exam papers are handed out. I take advantage of the time until a copy is placed on the desk in front of me to put on the headphones. It takes me four attempts, my hands trembling uncontrollably.
I recognize the melody instantly. It transports me back to the moment when I surrendered myself to Josh's music yesterday. To that place where I felt how strong I can be. And that sometimes, you have to take a leap to fly.
Once again, I feel like I'm at that moment. And that's all I need for something to become clear to me.
"I can do this," I say to myself with a broad smile.
The woman with the exam papers stands next to me and signals for me to remove the headphones. Reluctantly, I comply with her instruction, turn off the player, and put it in my bag. Then she hands me the exam materials. I write my name and the assigned participant number on the cover sheet and turn to the first exam question.
