Chapter 29
Maya
I'm floating. Still.
I spent the entire night with Josh and don't regret a second. The sweet memory of what happened dominates my thoughts. I can still feel the passion with which we kissed and how we slowly undressed each other. Even though I'm no longer with him, I can still smell the scent of his naked skin and feel his warmth so close to me.
In my memory, his hands trail over my stomach and venture farther down. He pauses, looking at me questioningly. I get lost in the green of his eyes, then I close my lids. With a longing sigh, I press myself closer to him and surrender to the magic of this moment.
Nothing is important anymore. Only the two of us and what the night does to us still count.
A contented sigh escapes my lips. Even though it's been over an hour since we said goodbye with countless kisses, the fire inside me still burns. It carries me through the entrance door of the apartment, and even the fact that I have a biology exam today can no longer derail me.
I feel strong. Stronger than ever before.
Humming the melody of Josh's piece to myself, I kick off my sandals. My gaze falls upon the mirror, andI see what I already feel. The glow on my cheeks is still there. And my eyes shine as if the sun radiates from within me. Blissfully, I turn away and walk toward the kitchen.
"Elina? Are you there?" I can't wait to tell my friend what happened last night. She will be thrilled, I know it. The pale blue digital clock on the new microwave tells me it's just past eight o'clock. Maybe she's still asleep?
Arriving at her room, I force myself not to burst in immediately. My legs fidget. I gently knock on the cardboard-like door. "Are you awake?" I whisper.
There is no response from inside. I can't even hear her breathing.
Like so many times in the past few weeks, she must have gone straight to Flo's place after her shift. What a shame.
Feeling a bit disappointed, I turn to leave. But as soon as I take the first step, a pitiful sob reaches my ears.
I immediately turn back and open her door. I find Elina huddled up, sitting on the floor at the foot of her bed. Her face is streaked with black lines, and her eyes are red.
"Elina!" I can barely hide my shock. I quickly run to her and pull her into my arms. "What's wrong?"
Another sob escapes her mouth, followed by a soft whimper. I sway her back and forth, wanting to help but not knowing how. Like a summer storm, a terrible suspicion brews inside me.
"Flo," she manages to say between sobs.
Everything inside me tenses up.
"He is…"
What did he do? Did he run away? Is he married? Emigrated? Elina has experienced all of that before. Yet she keeps getting involved with the wrong people.
This is how it always ends. Every single time. She doesn't deserve this.
Dark shadows loom within me. What if it's the same with Josh and me? What if he cheats on me, lies to me, and eventually leaves me behind?
Elina nestles closer to me, but despite her warmth, I feel terribly cold. "He is..."
I don't want to hear it. "Tell me," I say anyway. Because it's not about me here. It's about my friend, and I want to be there for her.
"...a junkie." I feel her shake her head against my shoulder. "My God, I studied medicine. In a few months, I'll complete my practical year and start my residency. How could I not realize it?"
Dammit. "Nobody looks good through rose-colored glasses." Of course, it's not much of a consolation, but what else can I say?
Her response is only a whimper. I feel her tears soaking through my T-shirt.
I stroke her back. "It's not your fault."
She pulls away from me. "Yes, it is." Harshly, she wipes her cheeks dry. "I should have listened to you. Right from the beginning."
