Chapter 28
Josh
I have no idea what kind of cake I eat. And I can hardly concentrate on what Sophia is babbling about. Because sitting right next to me at the table is Maya. Even though our thighs don't touch, I can feel her warmth on my skin. I keep stealing glances at her. Most of the time, she examines me at the same moment.
"When are we going to Tyrol?" A dollop of whipped cream adorns Sophia's nose.
The concert is on August eleventh. Just seven days away. Only seven days. According to my doctor, I should rest for at least two more weeks. But that's impossible. "We'll leave next Wednesday," I say.
"What? That's still ages away." My daughter pouts. "But when we're there, you'll go hiking with us, right?"
I nod. "Of course, my darling. I'm sure I can manage a short walk," I say, but seconds later, my thoughts drift elsewhere.
Instead of eating cake here comfortably, I should be in the music room practicing. My attempt yesterday went well, and with each passing day, my fingers regain more of their dexterity.
But I'm not where I need to be yet to give a perfect concert.
Once again, I glance at Maya. She smiles shyly, her eyes sparkling. How much I'd love to place my handson her cheeks and bring her head close to mine. But I have to refrain from doing so.
With a heavy heart, I push my chair back. "That was a nice break. But now I have to go back to the piano."
I can't gauge the expression on Maya's face.
Sophia's pushed-out lower lip, on the other hand, speaks volumes. "Already?" My daughter's voice is filled with disappointment. "But we wanted to go to the pool one more time."
I lean over her and kiss her sweet-scented forehead. "You shouldn't swim right after eating, remember?" On impulse, I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight. "We can dive for rings again tomorrow."
"Okay." Sophia giggles happily. She doesn't ask me to promise her because she already knows that I keep my word. Just for that reason alone, I would never want to let her go. "Hey, I can't breathe, Dad."
No. Not yet. I want to cherish her closeness a little longer.
But do I even have that choice? Probably not. "Well then, see you later," I say and reluctantly release her from my embrace.
"Mm-hmm." Sophia busily tucks the curly strands of hair back that were disheveled by my cuddling attack, obstructing her view.
I should stop doing that, but I can't. Once again, I look at Maya.
She swallows hard, a peculiar gleam in her eyes.
"Bye, Maya," I say, leaving the dining table, passing by her chair. For a moment, I caress her shoulder. I have no idea why I do that. Perhaps to feel the delicate tingling in my fingertips where we touch. That tingling that only she can evoke in me.
She looks up at me. "Bye, Josh," she replies, her voice filled with wistfulness. I want to believe that she sounds as if she longs for me just as deeply inside as I long for her.
That makes it even harder for me to leave them both. Yet I do it. Because I won't have much time to practice in the next few days.
On my way to the music room, I try to focus fully on what lies ahead, and once I'm there, I sit down at the piano. First, I play the melody of the technically simple opening piece, forcing myself to take it slow so as not to strain my fingers.
It feels good, so I venture further.
I maintain control. My hand does exactly what it should, even as I pick up the tempo. I breathe a sigh of relief inside. And with each subsequent note, I let myself fall a little bit more.
I close my eyes. This is it.
The music captures me and carries me away. How much I've missed this feeling. It's as if the sun is rising within me for the first time since the accident.
I keep my eyes shut until the sound of the final chord fades away in the room.
I want more of this feeling. I want to lose myself in the music and forget everything else.
