Chapter 23
Maya
I wish I could sit still. But I can't. Instead, I pace the rows of seats in the waiting room of the clinic like a restless tiger. I hear every sound. I see every scratch on the floor and smell the artificial orange scent of the disinfectant. Yes, I can even feel the midnight sun shining through the tall windows next to me on my skin. It's as if my senses are turned up to the maximum, not wanting to miss anything.
Because there, behind the double doors labeled something likeOperating Rooms, the worst thing imaginable could be happening right now.
The surgery could go wrong. The doctors could unintentionally injure Josh's spine. The anesthesia could trigger an allergic reaction. His heart could stop beating.
I clench my fists until my knuckles turn white. I shouldn't even be here. Sophia is safely asleep at the hotel. Yet not only Jasmin should be there if she wakes up. Moreover, I shouldn't be so worked up about this. Clearly, this is not the right moment to lose control. And Josh should matter much less to me.
Positive thoughts are the beginning of everything good, my father reminds me in my innermost being. Of course, he's right.
For the twenty-fifth time, I walk up to the counter.The lady with a neat, short haircut and full cheeks shakes her head before I even have a chance to speak.
"Any news?" I ask her nonetheless in broken English.
She raises her hands apologetically. Her gaze admires my earrings, brushing against my shoulders with every movement.
Suddenly, one of the lights on her phone illuminates. OR 3 is calling.
Anxiously, I lean over the counter as she picks up the receiver. Once again, I wish Elina were here. She could surely translate what the soft voice on the other end of the line is saying.
"Mm-hmm." The hospital employee nods and takes notes on her computer screen, visible only to her.
That's not very informative. "Any news?" I repeat, as no other words come to mind.
Instead of answering, she raises a cautionary finger. "Okay," she says to her conversation partner, then slowly places the receiver back in place.
"Now tell me already," I plead with her in German, even though I know she doesn't understand me. My legs are restless, my body tense. I'm ready to dash off at any moment.
She nods her head toward the double doors, which then start to move. A gentle smile graces her lips.
That's a good sign. A blond man in a surgical gown appears behind the door. He accompanies me along the seemingly endless corridor until we reach an inconspicuous white door. Slowly, he opens it.
On the other side, in the bed, lies Josh with his eyes closed and a bandage around his neck.
I'm instantly by his side, reaching for his hand. Hisfingertips move ever so slightly, and that alone is enough to release the tension within me.
He's alive!
I take a deep breath. "Was the surgery successful?" I ask the gentleman who escorted me here.
I don't understand his response, but I can see that he gives a detailed report.
Dammit, why is my English so bad? I should have pushed myself harder in school.
As he finishes his monologue with a satisfied smile, I thank him with a nod for the information. Although I didn't understand his explanations at all, I strangely feel relieved.
He withdraws, and suddenly, I am alone with Josh. His hand is still in mine, radiating that comforting warmth. I should let go, but now his fingers wrap around mine. He holds on tight, not wanting me to leave. A tingling sensation runs through my skin. There is so much comfort emanating from him that I dare to cautiously sit on the edge of the bed.
With my gaze, I follow the thin plastic tubes leading to beneath the bandage around his neck. The device by his side keeps emitting the same beeping sound. On the monitor, I can see a chart of his heartbeat. I can feel it in my fingers. Suddenly, Josh's eyelids flutter.
I lean over him. "Hey," I whisper.
"Maya!" He sounds relieved.
"I'm here." Without thinking, I place my hand against his cheek. My thumb moves on its own accord over his stubble.
