At the same moment, Sophia arrives breathlessly. "There are many cool stones here." Her eyes are shining. "Can I collect them, Maya?"
Instead of answering her, I throw Josh an urging look. "Ask your dad."
The little one turns to her father and gives him a puppy dog look that probably no one could resist.
Josh's shoulders sag awkwardly forward, but my nod helps him step into his fatherly role. "Sure, go ahead."
"But stay away from the water and don't go too far away. We always want to see where you are," I add. Then I hand her a small bucket from the beach bag in which she can collect her treasures.
Silently, Josh and I watch as she hops along the beach. "She's such a wonderful child," I murmur absentmindedly.
There's no reaction from him, but I hadn't expected one.
"Where shall we make ourselves comfortable?" I look around. Over there, next to the rock would be a nice place. A little away from the other beachgoers yet still in sight of Sophia.
"Over there?" Josh asks, pointing at the same spot I had in mind.
"Whoever gets there first." I cheekily stick out my tongue and start running. As I run, I turn around. He's still standing where he was.
What a spoilsport. He can stuff it. I pick up the pacebefore turning my head again. In fact, he's not only moving, he's even jogging. And there's a twinkle in his face. It comes and goes like a flickering light bulb.
That's a start.
Warmth spreads within me, creeping up to my cheeks. My heart also beats fast, even when I've already reached the destination.
Heated, I sink down into the sand on the spot and watch Josh's last steps. His cheeks are also glowing. When he finally reaches me, he leans on his thighs.
"Sports is not your forte," I note with a smirk and pat the spot next to me.
His gaze follows my fingers with skepticism.
Heavens, how uptight can one be? "Don't worry, the sand doesn't bite."
I can see his mind working overtime. However, he ultimately sits down next to me. "You can be very persuasive, you know that?"
Was that a compliment? "If something really matters..." I nod toward Sophia, who scours the beach near the dunes for treasures.
Now he wraps his arms around his legs and pulls them closer. "I'm a bad father," he suddenly blurts out, as if these words had been festering in him for a long time.
"That doesn't have to stay that way," I firmly counter. "Every journey begins with the decision to take the first step."
Damn, why am I suddenly quoting my father? I shouldn't do that. His voice belongs to me alone. Once before, Josh managed to elicit it from me. In the music room. When I could see his desperation over Sophia. I vowed it would never happen again. And now it justdid. Quickly, I look away and bite my lip. From the corner of my eye, I notice that Josh turns his head to me. And something inside me almost forces me to follow suit.
Ideally, one of us should focus our attention on Sophia. Yet we just stare at each other.
On this earth, there is probably no other person with eyes as green as Josh's. They captivate me. I would love to lose myself in them, but I know they are like a lake at night. Monsters slumber silently beneath the surface that must not awaken my own.
I should look away.
Right now.
Hastily, I lower my lids and bury my hands in the sand. My breath is shallow.
Josh clears his throat. "You're incredibly good for Sophia. I haven't seen her so relaxed in a long time."
Great, now my cheeks are heating up, too. "I'm not doing anything special."
Suddenly, I can feel his warmth right next to me. He's very close, his scent surrounding me. "Yes, you do," he says with a tone of reverence. "As my marriage went downhill, Sophia became quieter. Her oppressive silence was only interrupted by outbursts of rage."
