Oops, how did that happen? I quickly correct the mistake, and then put on my white summer hat with the boldly patterned band. "Is it good now?"
"Perfect, Pippi." A compassionate smile rests on her lips. "Have a nice day."
I wave briefly, then make sure I get out. Maybe Elina means well, but I can't stand this unasked-for meddling in my life.
My gaze goes to the wristwatch. I still have plenty of time until my appointment. I don't have the money for shopping or a visit to a café, so I wander aimlessly through Vienna. I stroll along the cobblestones of the narrow streets, cross the Ring Road, and walk farther toward the June sun. As if the bright light can give me what I need most right now: hope.
Just because the trial work at the toy store went poorly yesterday doesn't mean anything. I'm sure I'llfind another job. Just something that brings in enough money to get by. After all, that's what really matters. I want to believe in that alone as I turn into the Belvedere Gardens. Accompanied only by the crunch of the gravel path under my flip-flops and the distant noise of the street, I don't even realize that I keep walking and walking.
Until it's too late.
When I look up again, the red brick archway dominates my vision field.
I'm too close. Way too close.
I can even make out the ornaments of the wrought-iron entrance gate. And the sign, its smooth surface gleaming brightly in the morning sun.
St. Marx Cemetery.
Only a few yards separate me from the entrance. Through the bars of the gate, I can see the weeping willows that nestle against the edge of the path, seemingly leading into infinity. Their branches reach down to the ground. Although the leaves shine in a lush green, they do not convey happiness.
I look to the right, where the gravestones are.
Hello, Maya. I thought you'd never come. His warm, deep voice in my head sends a shiver down my spine.
I shouldn't be here.
And my father, he definitely shouldn't be here.
I have to leave. Immediately.
I turn to leave hastily. I pick up my pace, even starting to run. Faster and faster, as if the shadows of the past can't catch up with me as long as I keep moving.
The sun climbs higher. It shines with all its might, and soon I'm relieved to see the dark silhouette behindme growing smaller. I breathe in the stuffy air of Vienna, feel the burning heat on my damp skin, and hear the buzz of voices around me.
I am safe. Gasping for breath, I lean on my knees.
"Everything is fine," I remind myself in a constant loop until I can believe my own words.
