“Much better now I’m talking to you. I’ve missed you. What are you doing?” My shoulders relax a bit, releasing some of the tension that’s been building up about the status of our relationship.
“Getting ready to head out with the guys. Just wanted to see my girl before we left,” he says, turning his head to speak to someone else in a hushed tone that is too quiet for me to hear.
I squint, trying to recognize his background. It’s definitely not my condo or his apartment. Is it sunny where he is? That’s odd for winter in Chicago.
“Are you at a friend’s house?” I ask calmly, chewing on my lip and trying to ignore the rising nausea. Although I trust Brian implicitly, there’s an emotional distance between us, making me question whether it’s the physical separation or something more. Wondering if it’s always been there and I never noticed until now.
“I’m in Florida. Golfing with the guys. Needed to get away from the Chicago winter. You know how it is.” His face is fixed on the screen, but he’s clearly distracted.
My heart sinks. He’s out of town. Making time to hang out with his friends rather than visiting me. “Oh. I didn’t realize you were traveling,” I reply softly, attempting to hold back the hurt and anger bubbling inside me.
Why is he making time for other people and not me? Where do I fit in his list of priorities?
Third?
Fourth?
After work, friends, and family?
Is this how our marriage will be?
“I thought I mentioned it to you,” he says smoothly, gesturing to someone to give him another minute.
“I just… I thought you’d want to come see me if you had any time off work.”
“Hold on. Are you asking me to choose you over my friends? Is this some type of ultimatum?” His jaw clenches, and his eyes narrow in suspicion.
I flinch slightly. “What? No. I?—”
“Good. I won’t tolerate ultimatums. Won’t play those games with you.”
“That’s not what?—”
“Listen, I’ve gotta go. It was good to see your face. I’ll call you in a few days when I’m back in Chicago. Love you,” he says while walking, clearly in a hurry to get to his tee time.
“Okay.”
I cover my face with my hands after the call disconnects, trying to process what just happened. How I went from being excited that heactuallycalled me to building resentment deep inside me. How I couldn’t force the wordsI love youout of my mouth.
Maybe I’m overreacting and making a mountain out of a molehill.
But what if I’m not?
Have I been so desperate to be loved that I’ve ignored the red flags? Has he always been this way? Or is this new behavior driven by the stress we’re both under?
I’ll ask Chelsi since she’s seen us together. She’ll be brutally honest and tell me whether this is real or if I’m overreacting.
I shake my head, hoping the worry is nothing more than a combination of stress and typical wedding jitters, but Brian choosing his friends over me, considering how little we’ve seen each other, hurts a lot.
“Morning, Kate. Are you ready for your first fun adventure?” Jake greets as he strolls into the kitchen, wearing a flannel shirt, faded jeans, worn dark brown boots, and a baseball hat with adeep curve that obscures his eyes slightly. He places a coffee and a white paper bag on the table in front of me, which I’m confident contains my favorite pastries again.
I glance up at him, forcing myself to get excited about what he has planned and not letting the lingering doubts I have about Brian put a dampener on our time together. “I’d be more enthusiastic if you told me what we’re doing. At least I know I won’t starve. Thanks for breakfast, by the way,” I say, taking a swig of my coffee and devouring the chocolate croissant.
“Is everything okay?” He sits in the chair next to me with a furrowed brow. “What’s bothering you?”
Ugh. How can he read me so well after all these years? I need to get better at controlling my face. I plaster on a smile. “I’m fine. Just got a lot on my mind,” I lie.
“Not buying it. What’s going on? I’ll pester you until you tell me. Is that what you want?” He folds his arms across his chest, leaning back in the kitchen chair. “I may not have a lot of relationship experience, but I know when a woman says she’s fine, it usually means the exact opposite. Did I do something to piss you off?”
