“Then we heard you died.” The anger left his eyes, replaced by something aimed to rip Lucky’s heart out. “Why didn’t you try to see us? Tell us you were alive?”
“You were better off not knowing me.” A hard admission, but the truth nonetheless.
The world’s angriest teenager snorted. “Don’t you think you should’ve let me be the judge of that? I hate when people say they’re doing stuff for my own good, when really, it’s all for them.”
“You have to understand—”
Ty shot to his feet. “Grandpa says two words to me on the phone and then ‘here’s your Meemaw’, my uncles are either too good to talk to the likes of us or off in rehab. Then there was you… you played dead.”
While they were telling hard truths, Lucky had another. “I was dead. Officially. No play about it, I was in an agent protection program. Had a memorial and a death certificate and my 401K got paid out. My ID doesn’t say Simon Harrison because I like it. Guess I’m just a bad smell, coming back to life all inconvenient-like.”
“Convenient for you, though.”
Even though Ty spoke pure fact, Lucky flinched. He deserved every single barb digging into his soul. “I’m sorry. If I had it to do over again… I’d probably do the same thing. I honestly did what I thought was best for you, your mother, and your brother.”
“Well, then maybe you should have stayed dead! You couldn’t be bothered with us for years, and now all of a sudden you decide you want us back in your life, so we have to give up our home, friends, so you can get what you want. Have you ever thought about what I want? Have you?”
Lucky closed his eyes, each of Ty’s words tearing out chunks of his heart. He’d been so sure, so damned self-righteously sure, that his family was better off without him.
Leaning forward, Lucky rested his head on his hands, elbows on his knees. What could he say, what could he do, to make this better? “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“I agree. You’re sorry.”
Had Lucky been such a hard-ass at sixteen? Yeah, probably. “Look, Ty, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for y’all. I’m sorry about doing things that caused me to go to prison, but I’m not sorry for what I have now. I’ve made amends, have a new life, and I’m making a career out of putting men like me, no, like I used to be, out of business.” All he could do was his best, right? “If I’ve hurt you, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I’m not perfect—”
“You can say that again.”
Lucky tamped down a glare. “I’m trying. I know I can’t turn back time, but I can promise you from this moment forward, I’ll do my best to be the uncle you deserve, the brother my sister deserves, and the son my parents deserve.”
Ty sank back down to the chair. “Bo likes you. Says under all the bullshit you’re okay.”
Lucky let the “bullshit” slide for now. He didn’t deserve Bo’s praise. He’d done good from time to time, mostly by accident. “Bo could find good in the devil himself.”
“I think he could, at that.” Ty’s laugh died a quick death, along with his too-brief grin. “I want to forgive you, understand why you did what you did, but right now it hurts too much.”
Lucky well understood the pain of rejection. For years he’d endured the agony of having a family turn him away.
He’d treated Ty the same way. “I’m sorry,” he said again, when nothing better came to mind.
“Bo says, given time, I’ll be able to forgive you.” Ty shook his head. “But right now, I don’t think I can. It was okay when we lived there and you lived here, but now…” He spread his hands and shrugged. “I don’t want to live here. I want to go home.”
Ouch, but understandable. “The best I can hope for is for you to try.”
“I’ll think about it.” Ty held out a hand and Lucky passed him the cookies. “Why do we have to move? I have friends up there. Things going on at school.” Now he sounded more scared little boy than pissed off young man. “I was on the soccer team.”
“Your mother loves you more than anything, worked hard all her life to raise you and your brother. Now Todd is going to college, and you will too before long, if you want to. Once you’re gone she’ll be alone. She doesn’t want to be a nurse’s aide all her life. When she was younger she wanted to be a nurse. Now she’s got the chance. Yes, she wants to be near me and Bo. We were close growing up.” He wouldn’t tell Ty about Charlotte’s offer to have a child for Lucky and Bo.
“But my friends!”
“You still talk to them on your computer or phone nearly every day, right?” Not the same, but better than the available options when Lucky was sixteen.
“Yes.”
Inspiration hit. “We’ll try to get you up to Spokane every once in a while, if that’s what you want. But, please, will you give me a chance? Give Atlanta a chance?”
Ty yawned. “I’ll think about it. Can I go to bed now?”
Nothing else came to mind to help Lucky’s case. “Yes.”
