Aye, she’d said that.
But…is that what he was saying? She was lucky enough to be loved by him?
Athena sat in confusion as he shifted awkwardly in the tight space, moving pillows out of the way and cursing under his breath, until he finally settled down next to her. She watched him warily, unsure what he was going to do next, as he leaned back, muttered something, and straightened far enough to reach for a pillow.
It was the pillow Callan had stolen from the parlor at Newfincy, and Cash shoved it behind his back with a little sigh. Then, to her surprise, he reached around her, pushing against her shoulder, until she had no choice but to rest against him.
Truthfully, it wasn’t a hardship. Shewantedto be in his arms again, had yearned for little else these past days without him. It had been so very hard to have a taste of paradise in his bed, only to have it stolen away by cruel fate and their positions.
But now…
“I want you in my bed, yes,” he finally said, his low voice rumbling through the small space and through the chest she was resting against. “I’ve never made a secret of that, and I loved that you didn’t hide your attraction to me, not even at the beginning.”
“Desire,” she corrected quietly.
“Hmm?”
“I desired ye. It’s more than just an attraction.”
She heard the smile in his voice, although she didn’t glance up to see it, when he agreed,
“Yes. And I’ve never met a woman I desired more than you, Athena. You’re beautiful, aye, but strong and brave and—well, all those things I said. Funny, and loving, andfunto be around. You make me want to be with you.” When he swallowed, she felt his throat move. “I like the man I am when I’m with you.”
She sighed, her palm pressed against his chest, and her fingers playing with his waistcoat. “A mistress could…”
She wasn’t sure what she’d been trying to say, and when she trailed off, she felt him shake his head.
“A mistress could warm my bed and make me happy, but I wouldn’t hold her heart. That’s what I want, Athena. I want you to love me as much as I love you. I want…” His hand closed around hers, where it rested against his chest. “I want you in my bed, yes, but I also want you at my breakfast table. I want to read the newspaper with you and argue about coal prices or mining practices or the latest translation of Homer or—or any of the thousands of things you have opinions about.”
Suddenly, he sat up, dragging her with him and turning her until he could grasp her upper arms and stare into her eyes. “I want to raise our sons together. I want to stroll into church with you on my arm, looking magnificent, with them behind us, whispering up shenanigans when we’re not looking. I want to take them swimming and fishing and ridingwith you. I want you to help make Cashard ahome, not just a house, Athena.” His grip tightened as his voice rose. “I want you to make ityourhome. I want you to have the chance to snub society and Callan’s father as aduchess. I want you to have access to whatever resources for charitable works you’d like, even though I know you’d rather be with our sons, loving them. I want…”
All the fight seemed to go out of him, and he slumped, his hands falling from her arms to rest against her hands in her lap.
His chin dropped, and he muttered, “I wantyou, Athena Oliphant. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you.”
It was…
That was…
Athena gaped at him.
That had been the most perfect speech she’d ever heard—could ever have imagined hearing. It was so perfect, her brain couldn’t seem to make sense of it, and so it latched onto one of the last things he’d said.
Numbly, she realized her mouth was moving. “I have always thought it would be nice to have an organization to help other women who were left in my situation, so they did not have to make a choice they would regret later in life.”
Seriously? Of everything she could’ve said,that’swhat came out?
But he didn’t seem to mind. When he lifted his face, his eyes were full of hope.
“Then do it,” he whispered, squeezing her hands gently. “Duchesses can do anything.”
Just like dukes. Her lips quirked. “I dinnae like Society.”
That was an understatement.
“Neither do I.” His reply was immediate. “I’d be content to stay in the country, traveling only to London on occasion when duty—or my mother—demands.” He hesitated. “However, we might have to host the occasional house party.”
She frowned, hating the idea of inviting Society into her home—was she already thinking of Cashard as her home? Nay!—to gawk at her. “What kind of house parties?”
