Cash dragged a fingertip slowly down my cheek and then hesitated, raising his eyebrows at me in a silent query.
I nodded, my mouth suddenly dry.
Cash leaned in slowly and pressed his mouth against mine, and this time, I was ready. My lips parted under his, and his breath caught. When I reached up and put one hand on the nape of his neck, he shivered and let out a breathy laugh, little puffs of air that were warm against my mouth. He squirmed on my lap and I sucked in a breath, my focus torn between the weight of him on my thighs and the gentle pressure of his lips, soft and pliant against mine.
Cash cupped my face in his hands and our tongues brushed against each other as we exchanged slow, lingering kisses that I never wanted to end. We kissed until we were breathless and my cock was half-hard in my pajama pants, and it was only when Cash’s sleep pants started emitting a persistent soft chime that I pulled back.
Cash climbed out of my lap and I blinked at him in confusion. “Kittens,” he whispered, pulling his phone from his pocket and silencing the alarm. He grinned at me, his lips kissed red and the color high in his cheeks.
“Right,” I said, my voice rough. I stood, all too aware that my dick was outlined by the fabric of my pajamas and clearly hard. Cash’s gaze drifted down and back up, his cheeks pink but his mouth twitching as though he was fighting a smile. But if Cashwas pleased with himself, he’d earned the right. And I could see that he had a pretty decent erection of his own going on, so at least we were on the same page.
Not that it mattered when I was being cockblocked by kittens.
“You wanna get the formula ready and bring it up?” I asked, and Cash nodded and disappeared in the direction of the treatment room.
I headed upstairs, the old staircase creaking under my bare feet and Dog at my heels. When I opened the door to the spare room, the kittens were awake, making more noise than should be possible for something so small. I picked up the carrier, watching Dog cautiously, but he ignored the kittens and curled up on the faded rug, put his head on his paws, and closed his eyes.
I sat on the edge of Cash’s bed and extracted the kittens from the carrier. A lot of my job was dirty and hard and heartbreaking, but the trade-off came in moments like this, where I got to snuggle with four tiny cats. I lay down on the unused half of the bed and cradled them against my stomach, stroking them gently. Their fur was soft as silk, and their purring vibrated against my skin, sending me into a kind of a daze.
I closed my eyes and let some of the tension I always seemed to be carrying slip away as I thought about Cash and the kiss and what it meant. I didn’t think it had been a one-off. I hoped it wasn’t. But Cash had been quite clear that he wanted this—wantedme.
And I wanted him too.
Despite his quiet nature, Cash somehow managed to be upbeat, and when I was around him, it didn’t feel like my future held nothing but debt and exhaustion and fighting parents and asshole pet owners. It felt like there might be some good too. And I thought that maybe Cash was one of those good things.
The fur was warm under my fingertips and the bed was comfy, with Dog’s familiar snoring in the background. I drifted.
The next thing I knew, a hand was cupping my cheek and a soft voice was saying, “Mason?”
I lurched upright, causing the kittens to slide across my stomach. “Ow!” I hissed as four sets of claws hooked into my belly and the kittens did their best to stay in place, squeaking indignantly.
Cash scooped them up two at a time and put them back in the carrier, laughing silently.
“Are you mocking my pain?” I said, pulling up my shirt so he could see the row of tiny pinpricks.
Cash grinned at me, bright eyed, and I grinned back, and the kittens meowed their outrage.
I held out a hand and Cash handed me a kitten, and between us it took barely any time before we had them fed and toileted and tucked up in their nest of towels. Cash stroked the orange one’s fur with a fingertip before setting the carrier back on the side table.
I realized I was still sitting on his bed and I went to get up, but he sat back down beside me and put a hand on my arm, not meeting my gaze. I waited, unsure what was going to happen next but here for it, whatever it was.
And then, from my bedroom at the end of the hallway, my phone started to ring.
It was almostdawn when I left Paul Dawson’s farm. I was tired, aching, splattered in mud and shit, but feeling pretty fucking fantastic despite all that. I hadnotbeen killed by a cow and given that I hadn’t treated one since I was a fourth-year extern,and that had been under supervision, it deserved mentioning. Because cows werebig, okay? And sometimes you didn’t realize exactly how big until it was just it and you, and you were trying to move it into a position it very much didn’t want to be in.
So I had not been killed by a cow, but more importantly, I hadn’t killed a cow either. In fact, there was one more cow now than when I’d started.
I was flagging by the time I pulled into the driveway, but even being bone-weary couldn’t stop the sense of satisfaction that was wrapped around me snugly.
The front door opened as I climbed out of Uncle Jim’s old truck, and Cash leaned in the doorway with Dog in his arms. For a moment I was struck by just how right he looked there, before I remembered that this wasn’t my life. Cash might have looked like he perfectly fit the fantasy of the rural vet’s boyfriend, as easy and comfortable as an old sweater, but I didn’t even know if I wanted to be a vet anymore. And what Cash and I hadwasn’teasy or comfortable, at least not yet. It was so new we hadn’t even put a label on it, and he had no right to lean there looking like the gorgeous, sleepy answer to the dreams I didn’t even have.
Didn’t I, though? I could still feel the weight of the calf in my hands, pink-nosed and knobby kneed, as I’d wiped it down. And it had felt beautiful. I wanted to hold onto the fragile feeling as long as I could, before a new day full of the same old bullshit ground it down into nothing. Same as the feeling that made my heart skip a beat when I saw Cash was waiting for me. If I could bottle that, I’d be set for life.
“Hey,” he said quietly as I climbed the porch steps. Dog wriggled excitedly in his arms. “How’d it go?”
“Great.” I couldn’t stop my smile. “You didn’t have to wait up.”
He shrugged. “Wanted to.”
