The kittens let out tiny meows from their carrier where it rested on a side table.
And, eventually, I closed my eyes and fell asleep.
“Cash? Cash?”
I wrenched myself out of sleep, but my dad’s hands were still on me, so I swung wildly.
Mason dodged the punch. “Cash!”
What the?—
I was always confused when I got pulled out of a nightmare, always caught in that place where I didn’t know what was real and what was the dream, just caught until awareness slammed me hard and knocked me right back into reality. Except usually Chase was there, and Chase had seen me at my worst, but this time it was Mason, and I was hit with a sudden flood of embarrassment and guilt and shame. How loud had I been? Had I said anything humiliating? He’d dodged one punch, but had I gotten another one in before I was even awake?
I pushed back, jamming my spine against the creaking headboard of the bed. I wanted to say I was sorry, but also that it was no big deal, that I didn’t need him here. I wanted to say a lot of things, but the words weren’t happening. Not with my brainstill teetering on the edge of panic from the nightmare. Because even though I knew it wasn’t real, the fear was, and it lingered long after I could remember what I’d even dreamed about.
I wished he hadn’t turned the light on when he came in. I already felt too exposed.
Dog leapt up onto the bed, a wriggling, worried weight. He licked frantically at my face, and I curled over him so I didn’t have to look at Mason.
The mattress dipped as Mason sat down. “You okay, Cash?”
I nodded and figured we both knew it was a lie.
So much for me staying over so he could get some sleep. All I’d done was give him something else to worry about. I dragged in a shaky breath, my heart still racing, and waited for Mason to suggest that maybe I should leave.
But he didn’t.
Instead he reached out, moving slowly so I could see what he was doing, and laid a hand on top of mine where I was petting Dog. His touch was firm and grounding, and I found I could breathe a little easier. I stole a glance at him and forced a shaky smile when Mason’s gaze caught mine. I’d been expecting to see pity, but instead I found something like understanding, and the tightness in my chest eased further until I was finally able to take a full breath. It felt like maybe Mason had had his share of nightmares too.
His voice was low when he said, “Do you need anything?”
I sucked in a breath and wondered if it would be weird to ask for a hug. Then I decided that since I’d just woken Mason up with a nightmare, we were well past that, so I lifted my arms and held them out wordlessly.
He swung his legs up onto the bed and sat back against the headboard next to me, and I shuffled over and settled my head against his chest. He folded me up in his arms, and I let myself soak in his presence, warm and solid and comforting. Masonrubbed one hand up and down my side in a slow, steady rhythm, and the tension I’d been carrying in my gut unspooled as I lay there listening to his heartbeat.
When I could speak, I whispered, “Thank you.”
“Anytime,” Mason said, his chest vibrating in a soothing rumble that reminded me of a giant cat. I knew I should probably let go of him so he could go back to bed, but he didn’t seem to be in any hurry to move. And I sure as hell didn’t mind lying there inhaling the scent of his bodywash.
We stayed like that, and as the last remnants of my earlier panic retreated, something new took its place. The way Mason’s body was pressed against mine had me wondering what it would be like to spend the night with Mason without having a nightmare first, and how those hands would feel against bare skin.
My breath hitched at the thought, and Mason said, “Cash? You okay?”
I lifted my head from his chest and looked up at him, my gaze locked on his. Mason’s lips parted and the air between us thrummed like a live wire, the tension building and building until I couldn’t take it anymore.
I leaned forward, cupped Mason’s face, and kissed him.
It was clumsy and awkward because I’d never kissed anyone before, but Mason’s lips were warm where they met mine, and his stubble was soft against my palms. When I pulled back to catch my breath, my lips were tingling.
We stared at each other, and I waited for Mason to say or do something that showed me he was on board with this.
But then he let out a long breath and said, “Cash, it’s not a good idea.”
Fuck.
I froze as rejection settled in my gut, twisting together with humiliation and embarrassment until my insides were a tangledmess. I’d fucked up. OfcourseMason wasn’t interested in me. I’d just decided I wanted him, so I’d convinced myself the interest went both ways. Chase was always warning me that my optimism would bite me in the ass, and it turned out this time he was right.
My face burned, and I whispered, “Sorry. I thought—I thought you liked me.” A hollow laugh escaped me.
