He huffs a laugh, shaking his head as I narrow my gaze at him.
“It’s about damn time, JJ,” he says, grabbing his beer with a smirk.
I glare.
“What?” he says defensively. “I never understood why you stayed with the guy. Not because of the distance, but because of everything he puts you through.”
“Everything he puts me through?”
“I know I’m the last guy who should be giving relationship advice, but even I know marriages are never perfect. We all have our flaws. But a marriage should have certain things to keep them going, that keep everyone happy.” His lips turn into a frown as he stares at his beer.
“Marriage is complicated,” I say.
“Yeah, but it doesn’thaveto be. It should be simple, you know? Something that makes you happy.” He looks up at me with a knowing gaze. “Are you happy? Because I’ve known you a long time, man, and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you truly happy.”
“Don’t think I know what that means,” I mutter, taking another swig.
That’s not entirely true. Not anymore. I’ve felt it the past couple of weeks. When I think about Miles. When I see him. Just being around him. I feel different. I don’t feel hopeless… I don’tfeel like the darkness is taking over. I see a future, see things I’m capable of doing. There’s a pause, but it isn’t heavy or off-putting. It’s almost a relief. Because I said the words that have been lodged in my throat for weeks. The ones I was terrified of saying.
“Tell me what happened,” AJ says candidly. “And don’t leave out any details.”
I go through the story, the same way I did with Nash, only I get more out this time. Maybe I’m remembering more because I’ve thought about Miles more? Because honestly, he hasn’t left my mind. Or maybe it’s just easier to let it all out… because I’m overflowing with bad shit. I don’t have anywhere else to store it all. It has to come out. AJ doesn’t say a word or stop me. He lets me go over every detail and only when I catch my breath to take a drink, does he finally speak and give me his opinion—the one I’d asked for.
“Tell him the truth,” he says firmly. “Let him make up his mind on his own. You can’t decide for him, and you can’t force him, because then you’ll be exactly where you are now. Even if he said he doesn’t want you to text him, you need to give him all the info first, so you’re both on the same page, or you’ll end up exactly like you did with Franklin. You can’t keep all that shit in, JJ. It’s not good for you.”
I’m tempted to tell AJ to fuck off, because he is one to talk. Considering that’s exactly what he does. But he’s also right. So I don’t cuss him out.
“Miles isn’t like Franklin.”
“Which is why you need to be honest with him, and yourself, too. Why does Franklin get all the good parts of you when he doesn’t even fucking deserve it?” AJ’s gaze fixes on me sternly. “He doesn’t deserve you, JJ. He never did. And you? Fuck, man, you deserve to be happy. More than anyone else I know.” There’s a seriousness to his tone that isn’t missed.
“Since when did you get so smart?” I scoff, but AJ shrugs.
“I’ve always been smart,” he bites. “Smarter than your ass.”
I chuckle and shake my head, feeling lighter, and I know it’s not entirely from the alcohol.
“I beg to differ.” I say, noting the way AJ is looking at his phone. Or rather, staring at it. But he sets it down next to him, face down, and before I can ask if everything’s okay, he speaks.
“You’re a good guy who’s been dealt a bad hand. That doesn’t mean you need to let yourself suffer..”
He lets out a sigh. “The alarm sounds, and we just go. Disaster strikes and we rise up. We bringpeople order. Hope. Relief. In the middle of absolute fucking chaos. So why do we always ignore when the alarms go off for us? Why do we think if we ignore the fire, that it won’t get worse?”
That lands way too fucking hard.
But he’s right.
Fuck, why does he continue to be right?
“I have to go.”
I get up and pull my wallet from my pocket, dropping a couple twenties on the counter. AJ grabs my arm.
“You good? Do you need me to call you a cab or—”
“I’m good. I just need to talk to Miles.”
“Oh, okay, then. Good.” He smiles, cracking a sarcastic, yet almost awkward laugh. “Maybe we can meet back here next week and talk about my, uh… issues.”
