“What’s going on with you, Lauryn? You good?”
She pulled the large spoon out of her mouth before shaking her head. “Nothin’. I’m fine.”
“Everything good with you and D?”
“We’re good, too.”
“So, what am I missin’?” I queried.
She frowned. “Meaning what?”
“Meaning, how long are you going to lie to me and tell me everything is sweet when I can smell the bullshit?”
She hissed out a breath. “I just want to be happy, permanently. I want us all to be happy.”
“Is there such thing as permanent happiness, Lauryn?”
She shrugged her lean shoulders. “I don’t know. Every time I feel like I get a glimpse of it, it’s always snatched away.”
“What do you not have to be happy about? You just bought a house, you’re engaged, and you’re having a baby with the man you love.”
“It’s everything I thought I wanted. And don’t get me wrong, I want it. I really do. I just—I just can’t help but feel like the other shoe is going to drop at any minute. Like, what did I do that was so good to deserve all of this?”
“It sounds like you’re dealing with some imposter syndrome issues. You deserve every good thing that’s coming to you in this world, okay? You’re a great person, Lauryn. You’re gorgeous. You’re smart. You’re funny. You’re?—”
“Okay, okay. I get it. I don’t know. I think I’m just nervous. Like what if this baby comes out and like never sleeps or rips my body apart on its way out? I swear, I be having the craziest thoughts run through my head all hours of the day and night, and I don’t ever say anything to anybody.”
“Why haven’t you talked to D about how you’re feeling?” I wondered.
She shook her head. “No. I don’t want him to think I can’t handle this, and I definitely don’t want him breathing down my neck any more than he already is. I love him, and I don’t want to put any more pressure on him.”
“I understand, but you can’t go around harboring all of these emotions either. You know I’m always here if you want to talk.”
“Thank you, girl. Now, enough about me and my boring, pregnant life. Tell me all about this relationship with Hendrix. What’s the tea? What’s the update? You’ve been very private with this one, and I’m utterly shocked.”
I shot up an inquisitive eyebrow. “Oh yeah? And why is that?”
“Because you’re you, and I’m me. We share everything, bitch. You know, Mark can’t get anything out of Hendrix either.”
I snickered. “You just shaking all the trees, huh?”
“Every last branch,” she joked, amusement rippling past her lips.
My cheeks flamed at the thought of him. “I don’t know, Lauryn. It’s just different with him. I don’t know if it’s because we have a past or what, but I’m…dare I say, happy?”
She cheesed, showing a full rack of teeth. “That’s exactly what you should be if he’s doing his job correctly, and from the looks of it, he is. You haven’t stopped smiling since you got here. I know I’m cute and all, but I figured only D could have a bitch cheesing and showing all thirty-two like you are. So, go ahead and tell me about this perfect little secret love life of yours!”
“Hmph. It’s good. We’re good. We’re, you know, taking it…day by day, month by month,” I said coyly.
“Do I hear wedding bells?”
“You must mean your own, because…”
A frown shadowed her smile. “Because what?”
“Because we’ve only been together for a few months,” I reminded her.
“Have you even thought about it?”
