Instead, I focus on the fact that Ethan wanted this andasked for it.
“Yeah. Let’s do that.”
Rememberingthat Hailey and Mac will be out of town, I run down to the local bakery to grab some desserts for Alexei’s party. I know he’s planning to provide the meal, but I’ve also noticed how he gravitates to the trays of sweets she usually brings. I figure as long as the nutritionist doesn’t find out, I’mgolden.
I also pack a duffel bag of clothes to bring to Ethan’s. This is considerably harder. I know what to bring on the road — clothes for practice, clothes for going out, clothes for the plane, clothes for the game. But for this? Do I just bring a bunch of sweats? Will I need an outfit for leaving the apartment?
Maybe I should just toss in three jockstraps and call it a day.
I settle for a couple pairs of sweats and a couple casual outfits. And also a jockstrap or two.
On Christmas Eve, Ethan pulls up outside my place ten minutes early. I make sure everything is locked up then head out, box of desserts and duffel in tow.
He gives me an appreciative once-over as he opens the back door, a look that would be daring ten blocks North but is positively boring in this part of Minneapolis.
“What’s in the box?”
I place it carefully on the back seat, my bag in the wheel well, and turn to look at him.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I say, winking as I get in the passenger side.
He pulls out of the space, heading toward the interstate.
“Well, if you’re trying to take my place as his best friend, I’d appreciate at least a little warning.”
I laugh at that.
“It’s just some desserts. I know Hailey usually handles that and thought he’d appreciate some extra sweets over the holiday. Don’t tell the nutritionist.”
He chuckles.
“Damn, you’re good. Maybe Ishouldtell the nutritionist, get rid of the competition.”
I smile out the window, watching the fields fly past as we head to Alexei’s house way out in the suburbs.
“I’m just…I know that without him, I probably wouldn’t still be here. I’d be looking at grad school or whatever. And I want to make sure he knows I appreciate it.”
He gets a sad look on his face, the one I see whenever the topic of our first interactions comes up. I want to tell him it’s okay, that I know that isn’t who he really is. But at the same time…wasn’t it? Just a little bit?
“You know…you’d be a really good therapist. But I’m really glad you’re here instead.”
A warm glow forms inside me at his words.
“Thanks. I think I’ll still do it eventually. But I’m pretty happy where I am for now.”
He smiles, looking at me out of the corner of his eye.
“Me too.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
ETHAN
I had debated extendingthe invitation to Jamie for almost a week before biting the bullet. I knew he was planning on staying in town for the holiday, thanks to Alexei’s planning, but I still wondered if I was taking a big step in the wrong direction. For the twenty-four hours leading up to the offer, I could hear him over and over in my head, letting me down gently, telling me itwasn’t like that.
Now, as I wake up in rumpled sheets the night after Alexei’s party, I’m so glad I asked. His head is buried in the pillow next to mine, enjoying the rare chance to sleep in. The party had been small but joyful, full of good food. I thought Alexei would cry when he saw the desserts Jamie had brought, nestled in the fancy white box. Instead, he hugged him and invited him along to dinner with Alexei and I tonight.
For the first time in a long time, I find myself wanting to cancel on Alexei. I know it will be good to spend time with him — something we haven’t done as much one-on-one since the season started. But I also know how precious it is to get to spend this time with Jamie.
