That way lies madness.
“Why the Sun glyph? Out of hundreds of useful Skinscripts you could have picked?”
“I told you last night. We both know what’s coming in the next five years. I’ve seen it out there beyond the shores firsthand. You need to be stronger. The Sun glyph is the strongest.”
If I don’t kill myself using it.
It made a bizarre kind of sense. The elemental Sun ability didn’t guarantee immediate death, but using it made overusing it to the point of death nearly impossible to resist. If I ever did have to use it, which I hoped I never would, it would be with countermeasures to stop myself before I became intoxicated byit. Maybe someone could hit me over the head after a second or two to knock me out.
What would it feel like?
Survival or curiosity. It’s a tough call, admittedly.
Trying to use it on my own was out of the question.
With the power of the Sun though, I’d be stronger than anyone else. If I could figure out a way to use it safely. It was a massive if. For now, I wouldn’t be using it at all.
“And Perception?” I asked.
“You have an extraordinary tendency toward cluelessness.”
My ire sparked hot and bright. “Now wait just a minute–”
“Half the time you walk around looking dumbfounded because things that should’ve been apparent to you come as surprises. You don’t pay enough attention to your own body to spot the signs you’re about to injure yourself. Your skill at reading body language is almost nonexistent. You’re reckless and rebellious. You head straight into danger and don’t notice when you’re about to get yourself killed.”
The truth was a sour stew that cut on its way down when swallowed. “Don’t forget stupid, spineless, shallow, selfish…”
“You’re none of that.” His face was serious. So much for deflecting with humor. “You're singular, the most stubbornly determined person I've ever met. The kind of woman a man would wage wars over, just for the chance to know you.” Heat leapt up my cheeks. “But you’re also rash and oblivious, and your survival instinct is buried so far under your moral compass that it’s suffocating.”
“If this is about the Jakavra–”
“It isn’t. Perception Skinscript is a necessity for you. Your life expectancy will be weeks, not years, without it when you’re a Voyager.”
When?
I clamped my mouth shut. Even I wasn’t dense enough not to recognize that he was trying to help me.
He let out a dry humorless laugh. “And there’s no way I was going to give you the Sun glyph without Perception first, even though you’re tough enough to handle Sun.” He had more confidence in me than I did. Yeshar exited the Medic center with his coinpurse in hand, suspicious gaze marking Zevrial and I. Zevrial saw him too and shoved to his feet, walked away.
“We aren’t finished!” I called after him.
“For now, we are.”
Chapter 28
Opposites Repel
Ihad enough time left to contact my family before the final began, and now was my best opportunity since Sarina was off doing laundry and Corra hadn’t reappeared since yesterday.
It had been several weeks since my last message, and I owed my family an update. I didn’t want to leave this message, but it had to happen and I couldn’t put it off any longer.
This was a major choice, but after facing so many, I was equipped to make it.
I twisted the ring on my finger, contemplating my upcoming nuptials and how best to approach this. My wedding was still set for the day after graduation. The day after tomorrow.
What would happen if I didn’t attend? That was an entertaining thought, me sipping sweetstalk nectar at a bar while Jessarian stood prim and proper waiting for me. Would my family hunt me down and drag me to the altar? But they couldn’t make me pledge myself to him, even if they trapped mein the chapel. The whole thing would be a colossal waste of time and energy for everyone involved, because no one could force me to go through with it. It would shame my family more than Jessarians’ if I refused though, and my family had already been through enough.
I fantasized about tying Jessarian up to a tree somewhere remote until after the wedding. I’d be in the clear. No pesky smudge on my family’s honor.
