Maxi asked hesitantly, “Do you…know where his lordship is?”
Ludis appeared unsure. “I believe he is in the council room. Would you like me to deliver a message, my lady?”
Maxi put on an awkward smile and shook her head. She was grateful for the maidservant feigning ignorance despite having heard last night’s argument. When Ludis left the room, Maxi sat in front of the fire and became lost in her thoughts.
The cats climbed onto her lap, purring and mewling. The sounds of servants chopping firewood on the grounds drifted in through the window. As Maxi sat listening, she felt the hollowness in her heart easing. It no longer felt so much like a wrecked boat lost at sea.
Blankly staring into the fire, Maxi thought back on the tumultuous events of the past. The day Riftan had whiskedher away from her childhood home; her efforts to refurbish Calypse Castle as its new master; the countless trials; meeting Ruth, Ulyseon, and Garrow; her strengthened bond with the Remdragon Knights; and even her struggles learning magic. A small smile tugged at her lips.
A second later, her frustrating incompetence during the war and the loss of her child flashed through her mind. Her chest filled with sorrow and regret. Of the hundred or so things she regretted, shame hounded her the most when she thought of her decision to follow her father.
Nevertheless, it all amounted to the life she had built for herself.
Maxi closed her eyes. Now she would have to turn her back on everything she knew and enter the unknown. Despite the bone-deep fear, her resolve to leave somehow grew stronger.
A sudden realization struck her: The flood of words she had unleashed on Riftan last night had not solely been to persuade him. It was true that she wanted to be with him forever, but a part of her also yearned to step out from his protective shadow. Right now, she was slowly withering away in a world that only had room for the two of them.
Riftan had no qualms about destroying himself over anything concerning Maxi, while she was possessed by the perpetual temptation to cling to him and hide from the outside world. Left to continue, he would suffocate her, and she would drag his future through the mud. They would destroy each other in the name of love.
Maxi walked over to the window and looked up at the pale, late-winter sky. A flock of migrating birds passed overhead and into the distance, their cries echoing through thecrisp air. In the midst of the crushing sadness, something seemed to awaken inside her. It was too painful to be called hope and too fragile to be considered resolve.
She opened the window to let the cold wind wash over her flushed face and fill her lungs. The pale gold sunlight seeping through the clouds seemed to signal the end of winter. The world seemed cruelly beautiful as it awakened from its slumber.
Riftan did not come back the next day, and Maxi deliberately avoided seeking him out. She wanted to give him time to marshal his thoughts. But when there was still no sign of him on the fourth day since their return from Loverne, Maxi plucked up the courage to confront him in the council room.
When she reached the door, she could not bring herself to open it. How many more times must she rip his heart to shreds? It made no sense to her that she had to beg him to let her temporarily leave his side for the sake of their future together. She stood at the entrance fidgeting with her skirt before taking a step back. She stared down the slowly darkening corridor, lit by the remaining sun filtering through the windows.
Despite the temptation to return to her chambers, she managed to collect herself and stepped toward the door. She cautiously pushed it open.
Inside, Riftan was asleep on the couch. Maxi began creeping into the room but froze when she spotted an upturned goblet on the floor. He must have spilled wine, as there were deep red, blood-like stains soaking the carpet.
Maxi carefully picked up the goblet, wrinkling her nose asthe pungent alcohol assaulted her senses. Next to the cup lay an empty wine bottle. It was clear that he would not be in any condition for a proper conversation.
With a sigh, Maxi shrugged off her cloak and draped it over Riftan’s sleeping form sprawled across the velvet couch. She was about to leave when she heard his choked voice.
“She always stood on the hilltop, staring into the distance.”
Maxi froze and turned to look at him. Riftan slowly opened his eyes and gazed back at her, his dark irises bleaker than she had ever seen before.
“The woman who gave birth to me. Whenever the sun rose, she would comb her hair and go up the hill. She was waiting for the man who abandoned her.”
Maxi tensed when she realized that he was finally revealing a glimpse of his secretive past. Laced with derision, his flat voice rumbled softly through the room.
“Can you believe it? She waited more than ten years for the man who had used and cast her aside like an old shoe. A man who no doubt had long forgotten about the peasant wench he once amused himself with.”
Riftan’s cynical laughter chilled the air. Maxi hunched her shoulders and slowly approached. He did not seem to care whether she was listening or not.
“My stepfather was a husk of a man. For twelve years, he lived with a wife who wouldn’t even spare him a single glance. And yet that woman was obsessed. She kept waiting for the man she had spent no more than a few months with. She waited and waited…until she received word that he had died in battle, and promptly hanged herself.”
Maxi reached out to touch his hand but pulled back halfway. She shivered as though her lungs had been filled with ice water.
Riftan scoffed coldly. “I found her dangling from the cottage ceiling. She was quite the beauty…but she met a gruesome end.”
He sat up and swung his feet to the floor. Maxi’s face was pale with shock.
Riftan studied her reaction with unfeeling eyes. “You see, I swore that I would rather die than end up like her. That I would never allow myself to become so miserable, waiting….”
Maxi dropped to her knees and clasped his hand in hers. Then, the moment she cottoned on to the thought that had seized him, her heart shriveled with fear.
