Jason ducks his head. “We’ve been competing all of our lives,” he says. “And you’ve met him, right? Everybody loves him. It’s soeasyfor him. Whereas I have to bust my ass, morning and night, to get anything.”
“What are you talking about? You’re the team captain. Everyone lovesyou,” I point out.
“Because I work nonstop for people to like me,” Jason says, and something about his words feels so familiar. Feels so understandable to me.
“I don’t see what that has to do with me.”
“I’m getting there,” Jason says. “I’ve worked hard to make a name for myself in this town, and I didn’t want anyone to take that away from me. Especially not Marcus.”
“I’m not a town, Jason,” I say, losing patience.
“He liked you, okay?” Jason says. “As soon as he came toSterlingwood, he liked you. So I thought I’d flirt with you a little to ruffle his feathers. Even take you out on a date or two.”
The words sting like acid. They are truly humiliating. “But then as we started talking, I actually started to like you. So yeah, I asked you out.” He shrugs. “It wasn’t even about him anymore, at that point, but it didn’t hurt that it pissed him off.”
I shake my head, eyes starting to burn from unshed tears. And to think I ever thought anything between us was real. “And let me guess, this love you had for me was so real that you were sleeping with Amber a few months in.”
“No, of course not,” he says. “Ambs was…unexpected. We just connected in a way I haven’t connected with anyone. She doesn’t like me for my name or my stats or anything but who I am, and that feels nice.”
“I didn’t like you for your freaking stats either,” I spit.
“Okay, but is that true? Be honest with yourself—why were you with me?”
“What?” I have no idea where he’s going with this.
“Why were you dating me? Look me in the eye and tell me part of the appeal wasn’t datingJason Riddick.”
I shake my head. “What are you even talking about?”
“Jason Riddick. Not me, but him.”
I hear it the way he means it. I’m notme; on the best days, I’m Zadie Cartwright. I’m good and smart, who everyone wants to be. “So?” I say.
“So,” Jason says quietly, “Ambs is with me for me. Not who I’m supposed to be, but who I am. With everyone else, there’s some kind of…I don’t know, persona. But with me and her, we’re people.”
I blink hard as I hear the words. Part of me wants to mock them:We’re people. It’s so completely stupid and pretentious. Everybody is people.
But the unfortunate thing, the unfortunate truth, is that I get it.
I hate that I get it.
“If you and Amber are so meant to be, why the hell did you give me a promise ring days ago? Shouldn’t you have given it to her?”
Jason has the decency to look ashamed. “I was going to. I mean, that was the plan—after you and I broke up, I was going to give it to Amber. She and I had talked about it.”
He shuts his eyes briefly. “But then I broke up with you and the accident happened. I didn’t know if you were going to be okay, and I started to think maybe it was a sign that Ishouldn’thave broken up with you. Maybe the universe was saying something, you know?” He takes a step closer, looks at me with earnest eyes. “I thought about us again and, on paper, it works, Zad. Maybe…maybe even after all of this, you and I are still what makes the most sense.”
He looks almost hopeful as he waits for me to speak.
I stare at Jason because I can’t quite believe this is happening. “Wow,” I say, at last. “I can’t believe even now you’re willing to screw Amber over to do what ‘makes sense.’ I would rather absolutely nothing in my lifemake sensethan to waste another minute trying to make myself worthy of you.”
Amber and Mo have crept up behind us while we were speaking. Thankfully the party seems to have continued after our dramatic exit.
“And with that said, I hope you and Amber are very happy together,” I say, twisting the ring off my finger. It takes everything in me not to toss it into the bushes and let him have to find it. I drop it in Jason’s palm. “I’m done with both of you.”
I look specifically at Amber, and I realize that when I thought I lost Jason originally, it broke my heart. Losing Amber is like losing a part of myself.
I can feel one tear starting to fall, and I know that if they start, they won’t stop.
