“Well, one thing’s for sure. They won’t be getting any more insurance money from me. I’m ready to get this show on the road. Where’s Misty?”
“At work.” Gabriella smiled. “There’s one silver lining. We found out her MS improves a bit during pregnancy—as if Mother Nature knows the mother and baby need a little help during that time.”
Suddenly, a whirlwind sprang up in the middle of the living room. When it disappeared, a woman in a white toga with long white hair stood in its place.
“Did I hear my name?”
Gabriella’s jaw dropped. Gabe hadn’t met the deity, but Antonio had told all of his sons about her and then swore them to secrecy. Apparently, they’d all kept their vow and hadn’t even told their mother.
Antonio bowed slightly. “It’s good to see you again, Gaia. May I introduce you to my wife, Gabriella, and my son Gabriel.”
She smirked. “Ran out of names, did you? Or were you just not very creative?”
“He’s named after my wife. We thought she deserved a namesake after birthing four boys.”
“And yet you didn’t stop there,” the Goddess said.
Gabriella straightened her spine. “Now, wait a minute. I love all my sons and wouldn’t give any of them back.”
“Good. Because you’re stuck with them.” Gaia strolled around the living room with her hands clasped behind her back. “Nice place. How do you plan to set your son on fire without burning down your house and possibly all the adjacent buildings on the block? It’s bad enough that my beautiful planet suffers from wildfires.”
“Yes, Goddess,” Antonio said. “We’re firefighters, so we did come up with a safe plan. My son Jayce owns a fishing boat. We thought we’d use that to tow a rowboat and sail far enough out to sea that the fire wouldn’t be spotted from the shore. Our daughter-in-law is a dragon and can quickly cremate him with a blast of her dragon fire. The phoenix on board will be able to fly to the other boat not far away.”
Mother Nature folded her arms. “And what about the dragon on board?”
“She’ll fly to the other boat too. As soon as Gabe has reincarnated, of course. She may have to guide him toward the boat and not toward shore. Then everyone will shift back, except Gabriel.”
“Oh, right. And if you’re spotted, by satellite or something, a five-foot-ten dragon won’t stand out at all,” she said sarcastically.
“We can alter that plan a bit, if Gabe comes right to us, and because she’s fireproof, she can stay onboard until the boat is ready to sink. Then shift back and jump into the water, and our boat will be able to get close enough to fish her out and return to shore as humans—and one bird in a cage.”
“A cage!” Gabe practically shouted.
“For your own protection, darling,” Gabriella said. “Reincarnated phoenixes have an instinct to fly home. If you try to fly to the South End from so far away, you’ll probably become exhausted and perish in the sea.”
“Oh.” He relaxed slightly. “Got it.”
Mother Nature ceased her pacing and nodded. “It sounds possible. Just don’t do it now.”
“Why not now, Goddess?” Antonio asked.
“Mercury is retrograde. I know, I know… You probably think astrology is bullshit. Well, it’s not. I created just about everything but didn’t want perfection. What fun is that? So I tossed a little planetary trouble into the mix.”
“Um, Gaia, pardon my ignorance, but what is Mercury retrograde?” Gabriella asked.
Gabe was happy to hear his mother using a more respectful tone. His father had said the Goddess was easily offended—and powerful.
“Retrograde is when the speed of Earth catches up and goes somewhat faster than that of another planet, making the other planet appear to be moving backward. In this case, Earth has caught up with Mercury and is moving faster, making Mercury appear to be moving backward.”
“Oh, like when you’re on a train, pulling out of the station, and the train beside you appears to be moving backward, even though the other train is just sitting there.”
“Yes. That’s what a retrograde planet is. A planet appearing to move backward. The sun and moon never go retrograde, by the way. Do you know how boring it is to watch the planets go ’round and ’round, ’round and ’round, ’round and ’round, endlessly?” The Goddess shrugged. “I thought it would be entertaining to watch an optical illusion once in a while. How did I know a retrograde planet would put mortals in such a tizzy? I used to get insanely bored until humans became so…so…imperfect. And during Mercury’s retrograde phase, they become even more imperfect. Laughably so, depending upon how they handle it.”
Antonio smiled. “I think I know what you’re saying. As firefighters, my son and I have seen plenty of stupid things humans do.”
She smiled slightly in return. “Okay, then. Let’s remember that all kinds of communication gets screwed up during Mercury retrograde, and let’s not make some idiotic mistake.”
“Let’s not? Like, ‘letusnot’? Are you going to help us, Goddess?” Antonio asked.
