I walked out to see my girls still in their dresses waiting on me. I stepped up on the lil’ stage and stared at myself.
I looked beautiful. Their dress did everything that it was supposed to do, and with my girls standing beside me, I should have been over the moon excited, but I wasn’t.
“Wussup with your face?” Renee asked.
“Yeah,” Kenya added. “You okay?”
I sighed. “I think that I am just tired…”
Deja shook her head. “Nah, I don’t think that’s it.”
“It could be it if Love put her through the mattress last night. Did that happen?” Kenya asked.
I laughed. “No, that is not it.”
I stepped off the lil’ stage and took a seat on the couch with them around me.
“The other night, Love told me that he wants to get married now.”
“Like move up the wedding?” Deja asked.
“I don’t know, he just said that he wanted to get married now. He don’t want to wait for a few more months.”
“What do you want, Islah?” Kenya asked.
I thought about it before I responded. “It has crossed my mind, but then I did all this shit for nothing.”
“It don’t have to be for nothing,” Renee added. “Y’all could do something small at y’all house.”
I agreed and let out another sigh.
“Yeah, we could, I just don’t know. This wasn’t the first time that he asked me. That man said he would marry me in the kitchen first thing in the morning.”
“Damn,” Deja let out. “That’s love.”
We all laughed.
“I think you just need to talk to Love, see what he really wants, and tell him what you want. Either way, you know we are down for whatever,” Renee expressed.
We got changed back into our clothes and then went out to lunch. Talking about the same shit before, but this time, adding in the niggas they are bringing with them to the wedding, and adding, if you have a big wedding to the end of it.
I entertained it, knowing they were joking and thinking I wouldn’t agree to it for real, but they damn sure don’t know how many times that shit has crossed my mind.
Once lunch was over, I took my time walking to my car, laughing to myself, switching my thoughts, thinking about how months ago I was looking over my shoulders but now I was out living freely.
I got in my car and headed home, taking my time with no other choice but the traffic around me. When I did finally get home, I found Amir in the living room eating a sandwich. I sat and talked to him for a lil’ bit, asking about his day and what he wanted for dinner before going downstairs to see what Love was doing.
Love was on his couch watching TV with his feet kicked up, smoking, when I got down there. I walked around and laid on his lap and looked up at him, making him look down and smile at me.
“Wussup up with you, mamas,” he asked.
“I have been thinking,” I said softly. “About us getting married sooner.”
“Okay,” he responded, blowing out smoke. “What about it?”
“What about all the money I spent?”
“I’ll make it back.”
