“Well, that approach would certainly be a lot better than the one you’re attempting now. Because no, you didn’t ask me, yourequested a recommendation.That is not the same.” Something in Fyar’s voice made Kade feel very, very small. “Hokda would not take kindly to me forcing his hand. To put myself between you and him, to force him to give you a chance would put me very far from his good graces, and you’re not giving me many reasons I should.”
A war waged inside of Kade. His heart and his head. What was he willing to suffer?
A decision made. Fighting against every instinct in his body, Kade lowered himself to his knees, and then his hands, until he pressed his forehead to the rug that had just been beneath his feet. “Please, speak to Healer Hokda on my behalf. I’m asking for a chance, and I know you’re my only hope of getting one. Please.”
The king let Kade stew there for an eternity before allowing him up. He was trembling when he finally raised his head, red and hot with rage and shame.
“That was clearly very painful for you,” said Fyar, a smug gleam in his eyes. “Why would you go so far?”
It was simple. “I need to be here. There’s no other option for me.”
Fyar hummed, considering that. He nodded. “I’ll speak with Hokda. You will be administered the test. My assistance is not aguarantee. Whether you pass or fail will be of your own volition, and if you fail, you will leave quietly without any more fuss. Do you understand?”
Kade’s heart hammered in his chest. “Yes.”
“Then you may go.”
Turning on his heel, Kade fled, wanting nothing more than to be out of that fucking room.
“I will administer your examinationpersonally,” Hokda snarled like it was a threat. His eyes wide and wild as he stood in Killi’s doorway, fists clenched tight at his sides. He was nearly on his tiptoes to get in Kade’s face. “You have one week to prepare. I suggest you use your time wisely.”
Kade gulped. “Yes, sir.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
KADE COULD FEEL the stares boring into his back as he perused the shelves at the back of the infirmary’s lesson room, where the apprentices practiced and honed their craft. Where they spent most of their time, each at their own personalized station.
He was deep into enemy territory. The outsider peeking into a secret society.
When Kade turned to look over his shoulder, none of the five collected apprentices turned away. None even attempting to hide their staring—their curiosity. Their distain.
Kade did his best to ignore them, but their eyes were like needles on his skin.
It was the same each time Kade journeyed into the infirmary for study materials.
Silent judgement.
Not one apprentice had returned Kade’s greeting when he’d introduced himself, they stared down their nose at him like he were something under their foot, then simply turned their backs and continued working, pretending like he wasn’t there at all. Freezing him out.
Kade often heard them grumbling under their breath, whispers ofthe gallhe had to show his face there.A cheat and afraud.
Red hot shame burned Kade’s cheeks, but he would endure it. For Killi. For himself.
Assigned as his escort, the guard Dantel waited dutifully for Kade outside the door. He hoped the guard wasn’t listening. He didn’t want one of Killi’s men to pity him.
Dantel watched over him, making sure he didn’t go traipsing through the palace. He was an outsider, after all, only allowed in the infirmary, the library, and Killi’s room; where he ended up spending a majority of his time.
Kade understood that Killi couldn’t watch over him personally, he was busy, doing whatever captains did, but it was in times like this, when he was alone and unsure that he always felt Killi’s absence the most. Even back in Turell. He just wanted to get his texts and go.
“It’s not personal.”
It took Kade a moment to realize that the voice over his shoulder was speaking to him. No one did that. He turned and met warm blue eyes, kind and understanding. Sympathetic, or perhaps pitying, Kade couldn’t tell.
There was something in this stranger’s face that reminded Kade of Fyar, if Fyar was blonde, and capable of real emotions.
“What?”
“The palace is big, but it’s smaller than you’d think. News travels fast. Things tend to get around here, and Captain del Torau’s brother showing up out of nowhere? That’s the most interesting news we’ve had in a while.” There was a beat of silence. A strange look crossed the stranger’s face, and he cleared his throat. “Listen, Hokda hasn’t exactly been quiet about how you got this chance and—”
