He realized Foster wanted to connect. Jay would meet him halfway. “Yes. Obviously, I was sent all over the world in my spy days. Never have I gotten to feel joy or excitement about my surroundings. Sometimes, I still struggle with those emotions. But when I see Crisp and Tidy react to every adventure, that brings me happiness.”
“I don’t know if you know, but Zeus is a master deprogrammer. Maybe you could talk to him and learn a few methods to push past the suppression we can’t always fight.”
It hit Jay. All these men had been where he had been. They had suffered as children and learned tricks to heal. The Agafonov brothers were years ahead in their reprogramming progress. Still, this was one offer he couldn’t take. “I appreciate the suggestion, but no. Zeus and I are way too much alike and entirely too familiar with each other. We were in the same classes and graduated at the same time.” Jay watched the recognition grow in Foster’s eyes, and he hated it. This was another reason Jay hadn’t balked at being kept a secret for so long. Each new face meant another person learning his shame. They were each given a skill and purpose equally terrible, but Jay felt the horrors too deeply. There had always been a part of him that revolted. He hadn’t completely lost himself. Each day, Jay had known his existence wasn’t supposed to be the way he was forced to live it. He loathed anyone seeing that about him.
Like a wraith, Zeus appeared from nowhere. He sat at the foot of Jay’s lounge. Tracker pulled a chair next to him.
Zeus held his stare as if he forbade Jay to look away. Oddly, Jay couldn’t. “You’re right. We know each other too well. But that’s a good thing, really. For me anyway. Not many people can understand my struggle.” His gaze moved over Jay’s features. “I’m not surprised they worked so hard to scar your face. Even intending to kill you at the end, they wanted to make you feel your only use had been destroyed.”
Jay dipped his chin. He had come to the same conclusion. “They succeeded, but it had the opposite effect.” A chuckle that sounded evil even to him fell from his lips. “They took away the only thing that would make me lose my way again. Crisp fell in love with my heart. Maybe I wouldn’t have believed that hadthey spared my looks. Their punishment was my saving grace.” Jay’s gaze moved over Zeus’ flawless features. “I know you understand. It must’ve been hard as hell to believe Tracker could love you.”
A bright smile exploded across Zeus’ face. “No. He’s never had a problem humbling me.”
Tracker swatted at Zeus’ arm. “Stop telling people that.”
Zeus dodged the hit, laughing like a naughty child.
One by one, the brothers joined them. Chairs crowded together. Zeus moved to Tracker’s chair and pulled Tracker into his lap when Crisp arrived with Austen and Rain in tow.
Crisp crawled into Jay’s arms, ensuring he only put pressure on the side where there were no broken ribs. He held an ice pack against his abused face. “I’ll live.”
“He has a hairline fracture in his cheekbone and another in his lower left tibia. I’ve given him some meds and orders.”
Crisp pressed his ear against Jay’s chest as if he sought Jay’s heartbeat. Love swelled inside him.
Tidy plopped down on the ground next to their chair. “You two should have a wedding. Like I got to see you marry, but you should do a big event so everyone can join in.”
Crisp laughed. It was a low and tired sound. “Honestly, I think I need to throw another wedding for Foster and Atticus since I ruined their night.”
Foster looked Atticus’ way.
Atticus smirked. “Yeah, no. You didn’t ruin anything.” He followed the words with a wicked, soft-sounding laugh.
Yeah. They had definitely found some time alone before Jay had rudely gotten abducted on their wedding night.
One thought led to another. “Who caught the bouquet? Or did you not do that?”
Atticus burst out laughing. His eyes swam with happiness. “Kirkland. He raised me and worked as my butler for years. You should’ve seen his face. I know he only grabbed it because he’s used to picking up after me. He was scandalized.”
Tidy barked out a laugh. “Still is, truth be told.” He didn’t say how he knew, but Tidy’s tone had Jay’s gaze sliding his way. There was something there.
“I love you guys,” Crisp sounded half asleep.
“Love you too,” they all said at varying times of simultaneously.
Jay smiled as he stared down at Crisp. They were both exhausted and in pain, but it was equally obvious neither of them intendedto cut this moment short. Jay had his amazing husband in his arms. They were gathered around like a happy family. One Jay felt he was becoming a part of.
“We should have a slumber party.”
No one laughed at Shore’s suggestion. In fact, everyone looked Shore’s way, as if waiting to hear more. The giant blond who always stayed quiet lifted and dropped his arms. “We used to have nothing but a studio apartment and a bunch of blankets. Back then, we might have gone without a lot of things, but we still had everything we needed because we had each other.”
Tracker smiled. “I love that idea.” He stood and pulled Zeus to his feet. “I’m in.”
Atticus stood. “We should invite Kylo and Cairo.”
Rain laughed as he, too, popped to his feet. “Yeah, Beau and Rhodes aren’t about to let that happen without them.”
“The more the merrier,” Shore said as he started moving chairs back to where they belonged.
