“I’m not trapped here.”
Crisp knew that. Everyone who lived here full-time or worked for Beau knew of Jay’s existence. He was allowed to come and go as he pleased. But they still had to be on guard, and Jay became a prisoner the moment any of his brothers arrived. As badly as he wanted to just sit down with his family and tell them about Jay, Crisp didn’t know if he could trust them not to hurt him. Crisp didn’t want bloodshed, and there would be plenty if anyone touched Jay. He hated how complicated things were, but he had chosen this. Jay had chosen this.
Jay’s hand slipped beneath the cover. He reclaimed the same spot on Crisp’s thigh he had been massaging. Jay continued holding his stare as his hand slowly moved upward. “We’ve had this same conversation a hundred times. I’m not a prisoner. I’myour other half. For once, let’s just focus on you.” He caressed a little higher.
Crisp drew a shaky breath. He knew what that hand could do. It was getting harder to focus on their discussion. “The focus is always on me. Let me put you first. Tell me what you want. Whatever makes you happy is what I want.” Even Crisp wasn’t sure they were still talking about life.
Jay stroked Crisp’s cock. “I want you to touch me.”
A hint of nervousness set in. He had always let Jay be the one who made the sexual decisions. That was what they had agreed on to keep Jay’s mental health safe. Now Jay asked to be touched. Crisp didn’t want to assume Jay asked for more than he did. He licked his lips, trying to quell his nervousness. “Maybe be a little more specific.”
Jay led Crisp’s hand to the bulge in his jeans. “I want you to take control.”
Crisp’s eyes kind of wanted to bug from his head. Despite his reservations, Crisp shifted to his knees and straddled Jay. Jay watched his every move like a lion waiting for his chance to pounce. He might want Crisp to be in charge, but Crisp was fully aware he still wasn’t. Crisp was still the prey. He kissed Jay, keeping the gesture sweet. His lips barely skimmed Jay’s as Crisp opened the front of Jay’s jeans. Crisp’s kisses were teasing. He wanted Jay to chase him and crave more. With their erections free, Crisp scooted closer and held their cocks together. His hands weren’t quite big enough to do what hewanted, but their skin felt amazing when pressed together. He hoped Jay would take control and put Crisp out of his misery. It didn’t happen. Jay simply treated their kiss like he could hang like this all day.
Crisp’s hips rolled. He moved restlessly against Jay. Once upon a time, Crisp had thought he was passable in bed. This had him doubting his whole life. Jay had spoiled him by making all the decisions. Crisp felt very lacking. His gut reaction was to slither down Jay’s body and do the one thing he knew he was good at: sucking dick. That was one thousand percent off the table. So Crisp didn’t really know what to do next. Jay moved to his feet, holding Crisp. The blanket fell to the floor. Jay stepped over it on his way to bed. He set Crisp on the edge of the mattress and pulled his shirt up and over his head. After tossing it aside, he stripped off his pants and underwear.
Instead of crawling on top of Crisp, as usual, he settled on his back. “Come here.”
Crisp rolled onto all fours and moved to straddle Jay again.
Jay stopped him. “No. Face the other way.”
Crisp bit his bottom lip and did as instructed. While they were semi back on familiar ground, the situation still felt like a shift. Crisp moved a little slower than usual. His every move screamed how unsure he felt.
“Back up. I want that ass.”
Crisp was all the way in, but he felt a tad uneasy. He didn’t know if he could just stare down at Jay’s cock and do nothing.
Jay kept up the soft commands. “It’s okay. You’re free to do whatever you’re thinking about. This is different, okay?”
“Okay.” Even to his ears, Crisp sounded anything but confident.
Then Jay hauled him backward and dove in face first. He tongued Crisp’s asshole and sucked his balls. Crisp forgot everything. He had Jay’s dick in his mouth in a heartbeat. He got high on the sounds Jay made. The more Jay lost control beneath him, the harder Crisp worked for him. While his pleasure wasn’t forgotten, he was invested in blowing Jay’s mind. Jay had unbelievable talent in everything he did. Crisp felt like he hadn’t been given a chance to make Jay addicted to him. He never wanted Jay to be unhappy in this relationship.
Before long, the noises coming from Jay were only matched by the way his body fought to stay in time with Crisp’s mouth. The entire situation was so fucking hot, Crisp fought not to come. But when his mouth filled with cum, the flavor combined with the cries, and Crisp didn’t stand a chance. He moaned around Jay’s dick. He rode Jay’s mouth and fingers. Crisp forgot everything except Jay. This one man really was his entire world. He didn’t have to travel to find the greatest spot on the planet. It was here. This was heaven. Still, Crisp would take up Jay’s suggestion. It was time for them to have the type of freedom they had never had together. Crisp couldn’t feel anyone but Jay at that moment, and he had never felt more whole. He would let Jay heal him. His love was the only thing that could.
Chapter Eleven
Crisp:Ijustwantedto let you know I’ll be home tomorrow. Can’t wait to see you. How’s Atticus?
Foster:He’s doing great. I’m so excited to see you. Have you been having fun?
Crisp: Yes! We went scuba diving yesterday, and I got to surf. Tidy caught some huge fish. He gave it to some kid fishing nearby who hadn’t caught anything. You know he hates fish. Lol.
Crisp:Tidy says he’ll send you a picture of it later.
Foster:Cool. Tell Tidy I said hi. Atticus says, “Hi, Crispay.” Idk. He was very specific on the spelling. LOL! You know he’s a weirdo.
Crisp:That’s what I love about him.
Foster:He says the feeling is mutual.
Crisp:I can’t believe you’re getting married this weekend. That’s so wild! I’m so happy for you. Well, happy for Atticus, anyhow. He’s getting a good man. You’re getting a weirdo.
Foster:I’ll make sure to let him know you said that. When will you be here? I know this was just a quick two-day trip. Just making sure you haven’t decided to extend it.
Crisp:I’ll be home in time for your bachelor party for two. I’d never miss your moment. Tidy says to tell Kirkland to save him a dance.
