“Yeah, dude,” Jordan agreed, which was really the nail in the coffin for any kind of plausible deniability.
If Jordan thought it was obvious, then what chance did Trevor possibly have of continuing to pretend it wasn’t true?
“So what, I should just go to him and say,hey, we’ve never actually talked about what we’re doing besides you know,experimenting, but you must be into me. Wanna be my boyfriend?”
Cameron looked over at Jordan. “Please tell me that when you finally get with a guy you are not going to be this obtuse.”
“Obtuse? What?” Jordan looked confused.
“Oh my God,” Cam said. “And you went to college!”
“But not to class?” Jordan admitted.
Trevor shook his head, trying not to laugh. Also trying not to have a panic attack. He’d been doing so good justdoing. Whycouldn’t he just keep doing that? Sharing Lane’s bed and his condo and his life? Why did they even need to label it?
The answer was painfully, horribly crystal clear: because if they didn’t, they were never going to be able to tell anyone else, and with their parents coming into town, surely they would pick up the subtext and wonder what was going on.
They needed to be able to tell themsomething.
And if they didn’t figure out what the hell that something was first?
Well.Well.
“Trevor,” Cam said, turning to him, after the brief debate he’d just had with Jordan over how he shouldn’t just be admitting to anyone that he’d gone to college but barely ever bothered to attend class. “You good now?”
He was freaking out now. A little. Or maybe a lot. But the conversationhad, at least, forced him to realize that he and Lane couldn’t keep going this way. He was going to need to stop doing—or notstopdoing, but stoponlydoing—and actually bite the bullet and have what would probably be a very awkward, very painful conversation with Lane about what theyweredoing.
But still, there was one big thing that theyhadn’taddressed.
“What if Idon’tend up loving him, not the way you think he loves me?”
Cam’s expression turned contemplative. “Doyouthink that’s gonna happen? After all, you called us all here to figure out how to make things with Lane more serious.”
He was right; Trevorhad.
“That’s . . . that’s a fair point,” Trevor admitted.
“You want things to get deeper with him. Maybe you’re not where he is, not right now, but you’ve only been doing this thing with him a few weeks. You can’t compare your feelings to his.”
“Listen to Cam,” Jordan inserted. “He’s smart as shit.”
“I get what you’re saying,” Trevor said. When he thought about Lane, he definitely felt all sweet and gooey inside. Affection and lust comingling inside him. Plus, there was nobody he liked hanging out with more. What did that all add up to? He wasn’t sure yet, but surely, it wassomething. A feeling that if it wasn’t lovenow, could grow into love.
“Is there anybody you like as much as him?” Jordan asked.
It was a strangely perfect question, coming from someone who was deep in the search for a hot hookup.
“Um, no. No. Not even close.”
Andthat, that did make Trevor feel better. Maybe he wasn’t in lovenow, but he thought it wasn’t as crazy as it might have been once, assuming that he’d get there eventually.
“Well, there you go,” Jordan said, grinning.
“Wow,” Cam said, turning to him. “Where didthatcome from?”
“To be honest? I’m really not fucking sure, but hey, it worked, right?” Jordan turned to Trevor. “Right? You totally relaxed just then. I could tell.”
“Yeah, I think so. I guess so. I’m still panicking, a little, if I’m being totally honest, but I know what I need to do. Do I wish we could just wait to figure it all out with unlimited time and space?”
