But then again, I need to talk to someone. And who else is there? “It set off my magic. I touched it, then lost control.” I swallow hard as the memory slices through my mind. “I could have hurt my friends. These are dangerous.”
“Yes, they are.”
“Why?” I ask. “How did that happen?”
He glances toward the door where the other guards are staring into the distance as if trying not to listen to us. We both know they’re hanging on every word. I have to hope I spoke quietly enough that they couldn’t hear.
“After you get some rest, perhaps you should visit the library.” Nate says in a clear, loud voice. He stands, then offers his hand. “You always enjoy reading. It will give you time to rest and recover. Leave this to us. We’ll get it taken care of.”
I let him help me up. It’s obvious he’s putting on a show for the other guards. When we step into the hall, he addresses the others. “You two stay here. Nobody should enter this space. It’s not safe. I’ll inform the emperor when he returns. He’ll need a priest trained in such unique objects to safely remove everything.”
The guards nod, then take up positions on either side of the door. I don’t know how Nate has gained that kind of authority, but I don’t ask.There’s still so much I don’t know about him. Iremain hopeful thatI’m not making a terrible mistake as I follow him down the hall.
As soon as we’re far enough away that we can’t be overheard, I look over at him. “You’re not really going to have a priest deal with that, are you?”
“Of course not. But I need to buy some time.” He keeps his gaze forward, scanning the hall as we walk, checking for threats.
“What are you going to do with it?” I ask.
“If you’ll allow me, I’ll hide everything somewhere else until you need it,” he says.
“Why would I need it?”
“I’m not sure yet, but they’re powerful. They’ve been hidden all this time and yet, you’re the one who found them.” He glances over at me. “I don’t believe in coincidence when it comes to things that involve magic.”
My insides twist with anxiety and excitement. Mara wanted me to find that for a reason. “You’ll tell me where you hide them?”
“Of course.”
“And you don’t want them for yourself?” I ask. “What if they could be the cure you’re looking for?”
“If they are, I think you’d tell me if you discover that one of them can help,” he says. “But the item I’m looking for was well documented. It’s a yellow stone on a silver chain. Unless that’s buried in there, I don’t think it’s what I’m after.”
“You trust me but you don’t even know me. What if I find the stone and keep it for myself? What if I chase power?” It’s a fear that’s been buried in the back of my mind, something I hadn’t let myself consider fully, let alone speak.
What if the magic flowing in my veins corrupted me? What if it turned me into someone like the emperor? Like all the other nobles who ignore the misfortune of others. What if I’m one ofthem now and that’s why I’m struggling to maintain my anger toward Caiden?
“I know you well enough by now, Your Majesty. And in the end, you want to help people. It’s both your greatest strength and your greatest weakness.”
I look down at my feet as I contemplate what he said. “I don’t think that’s how I’ve always been. I wasn’t like that when I got here.” I press my lips into a tight line.
“You shouldn’t fight whatever it is you’re becoming,” he says.
His words are dangerous. If he knew what I could do, he wouldn’t suggest such a thing. “Where did they take Charlotte?”
“Probably the infirmary. I’ll take you,” he offers.
We’re silent the rest of the walk while I think about what I’m going to say and how I’m going to apologize for harming my friends.
Thirty-Four
Sabina
Charlotte sits on a bed with Antonia beside her when I arrive. I approach cautiously, half expecting her to throw me out. “How are you?”
“A little sore. I’ll be alright,” she says.
I take the seat next to Antonia since Charlotte is not kicking me out yet. “I’m so sorry.”
