He hesitates, then looks around.
“Listen, I know what I’m asking of you. I also know you’re not a normal legionnaire but I haven’t yet figured out where your loyalty stands. But considering you sang me a rebellion song, I’m guessing you won’t be running to Caiden. Am I wrong?”
“No, you’re not wrong,” he says.
“Please. I need to see him. Just once. I won’t ask this again,” I say.
He sighs. “If I leave your door, they’ll know you’re not here.”
Of course. And if he’s caught leaving his post, he’ll be killed. “I shouldn’t have asked.” I reach for my door.
“Wait.”
I turn back to him.
“Stay out of sight, don’t enter any of the rooms on the third floor. They’re mostly occupied. Go down the rear staircase at the end of the hall, to the second floor. First door on the right.”
I almost hug him. “Thank you.”
“You’ll want to return before sunrise. My shift ends then,” he says.
“Of course.” I hurry down the hall. Brevan will send me away. It’ll hurt, then I’ll be able to let him go and hopefully he won’t return to my dreams.
Twenty-Four
Brevan
My skin feels like it’s on fire, and sweat beads on my forehead. My cock strains against my trousers. I don’t reach for her anymore. The dreams won’t go away. The worst part is, I’m not sure I want them to. There’s no other way to be with her, but I know they’re making it worse. Making it harder for me to release her from my mind.
Sitting up, I work to catch my breath, to imagine anything other than the way her body would feel against mine. The way my fingers tangle into her hair, the way she tastes. Gods, I could die happy if I had one more night with her. But it’s not my life on the line. It’s hers, and my sister’s, and Anya’s.
It’s taking all my willpower to keep my hands away from my aching cock. I can’t let myself lean into this. I have to get her out of my head.
The knock on my door is so quiet, I think I might be imagining it. Then it comes again, a little louder. Heart thundering, I hesitate, what if it’s her? What if she’s feeling the same things I am?
Fuck. That’s my imagination getting away from me. These dreams are going to push me to the brink of insanity. As I stride toward the door, I make a note to seek a sleeping draught. Something to eliminate the dreams.
The knock sounds again, stronger this time.
“This better be good.” I turn the handle and then my heart falls into my stomach.
Her cheeks are flushed, her lips parted, her hair a glorious, gorgeous mess. “Sabina?”
“I’m sorry. I had to see you.” She shoves past me, and I close the door behind us.
“I know what you said. I know I shouldn’t be here. I know we can’t do this. But please, let me talk for a moment. You don’t need to say anything.” There’s pain in her expression. I would give anything to take that from her.
“It’s not fair what they’re doing to us. And I don’t deserve any kindness from you after what I did. I lied to you. Then I…I kissed him back and…” she leans her head back in anguish, and I swear to the gods I might lose control completely if I don’t get her in my arms soon.
Tears stream down her cheeks, but I don’t reach for her. I don’t speak. I can’t. If I do anything, I’m going to take this to the one place it can’t go.
“I know I fucked up. But if I had a choice, if I could choose you, I would.” She shakes her head. “I hate that I’m so close to sacrificing everyone else and begging you to run away with me. But what does that make me? Who thinks like that? I’m awful. I’m no better than any of the people I came here to kill. To consider trading one person I love for another person I love. It shouldn’t have crossed my mind.”
I need to send her away as she’s spilling her heart out to me. She’s going to hate me for it.My hands tense as I imagine punching him in the face.
She reaches for the door handle.
I’m shaking as I resist throwing her over my shoulder and carrying her to my bed.
