I don’t know how I manage to make it. The closed doors are the only thing separating me from the worst thing I’ve ever done. In a few moments, my soul will die. It’s the only outcome for me.Even suicide was off the table, Caiden made it very clear that if I took my own life, my ladies would be tortured and killed.
My fingers tingle. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing because the rest of me is numb.
Four guards stand at the ready, but one of them takes stiff steps toward me and hands me a folded piece of paper. It’s sealed with the Pendralian crest. My brow furrows when I look up at the guard, he nods, his eyes finding the parchment before he returns to his post.
I tear it open and read the tight script.
My Dearest Princess,
On this joyous occasion of our wedding, I want to introduce you to the guards who are ready to ride to the winter estate and carry out my very special plans if you should get cold feet today.
I look forward to declaring you my empress.
All My Love,
Caiden
My heart plummets, and despair washes over me. The guards at the door watch me with impassive, hardened expressions. I realize all of them are dressed for battle. Leather armor instead of dress uniforms, weapons glinting from holsters. These guards aren’t here for the protection of the people inside the ballroom. They’re here in case they need to be dispatched to perform murder.
“At least you two will make beautiful children,” Ludis says while reading the letter over my shoulder. “I look forward to welcoming my niece or nephew to the palace in Iskvaland.”
I glare at him, then crumple the letter into a ball. “You’re insane if you thought I’d ever allow any child of my womb anywhere near you.” Not that I’m planning on ever having children with Caiden. I’ve already researched all the plants that can help me prevent or eliminate pregnancy just in case.
“Caiden didn’t tell you? We’ve reached a diplomatic exchange. Your firstborn will reside with me, and my firstborn will reside with you. Though, I do expect you’ll be with child long before I am.”
Bile crawls up my throat, and my body heats with rage. I grit my teeth resisting the urge to claw his throat out. He smiles, the satisfied expression telling me he knows exactly what I’m thinking.
As I’m digging through my skirts for the dagger pocket, the doors swing open and Idrop my hand to my side. I blow out a long breath and scold myself. I nearly cost my ladies their lives. Ludis deserves to die, but not at their expense.
The ballroom is drenched in black silk. It covers every wall and every chair. All the guests rise from their seats; a sea of black gowns and black coats with black roses tucked into lapels and dark hair.
The color matches my mood. It’s a fitting scene for the death that awaits me beyond the doors.
The guards at the entrance follow us as Ludis walks me down an aisle between the guests. Everyone bows as I pass them, showing the reverence expected for the new empress. It makes me feel even more nauseated.
My slippers disrupt black rose petals scattered along a silver runner. Aside from my dress, it’s the only fabric that isn’t black in the whole room.
Caiden is dressed head to toe in black. He’s handsome. He’s always handsome. It makes me hate him more. Each step I take is a battle against my own instincts.
Darius, the emperor’s priest waits with Caiden atop a raised dais, ready to perform the ceremony. The closer I get, the more my skin crawls.
The prince—no, the emperor—smiles as if he’s a normal man awaiting the love of his life. He’s a better actor than I realized, which means everything he’s ever said or done is suspect. He’s a liar. But then again, so am I.
We stop in front of two steps that lead up to the dais, and Ludis bows before nudging me with his elbow. I fix a sardonic smile on my lips and curtsy without taking my eyes off Caiden’s. I want him to know how much I hate him.
When we rise, Ludis extends my hand toward the emperor. “Your Majesty, it is my great honor to offer my sister, Princess Sabina Volkov, as your wife, and in doing so, join our great nations in peace.”
Caiden extends his hand, and I take it, my body moving through the motions out of spite and the desire to protect my friends. Already, a million visions of how I could kill my new husband swirl in my mind, each more excruciating than the last. I smile at the thought.
I’m standing in front of him now, our hands clasped while Darius reads words about our union and the gods. I retain none of it. Every syllable floats through my mind like water through a sieve. All I can think about is how fucking grateful I am that Brevan isn’t here. Anya isn’t here. My parents and my brothers don’t have to see what’s become of me.
I know it’s my only option—and I will find a way out of this—but to bind myself to him like this in front of the court, in front of the gods…it breaks something inside me that I’d rather not admit to. I tell myself I’m strong. That it means nothing. But as the priest binds our wrists with black ribbons, my breathing grows rapid and my heart thunders.
This is real. This is happening. I’ll be married in the eyes of the gods.
I’ve never held much weight for them in the past, but their existence weighs heavy on me now. Maybe because the marks on my skin tell me the gods are real, and I probably shouldn’t cross them.
Darius chants something in a language I don’t know, and the audience chants back. My throat constricts as Caiden tightens his grip on me, his hands squeezing mine so hard, I have to bite down against the pain. His eyes dance with malice; his smile as cruel as his touch.
