I nuzzle against him as tears threaten again. I’m so tired of crying. So tired of being afraid.
“You brought my father back, didn’t you?”
“Yes,” I whisper.
“Did you know then, that it was you?” he asks.
“Not at the moment, but later that night,” I admit.
He kisses the top of my head. “I’m sorry.”
“Do you think it makes me dangerous?” I ask. “I can’t control it.”
“You will eventually,” he says.
“I don’t want to. I can’t think of how it would be useful aside from doing terrible things,” I tell him.
“You were given that gift for a reason. Even if you don’t know what it is yet.” He strokes my head gently.
I know Mara has plans for me. Tasks for me to complete. She wanted me to bring down this empire, and here I am in the arms of its emperor. Maybe that’s why she stopped speaking to me. Maybe she’s looking for someone who can do the job the way she demands.
“Do they speak to you?” I tilt my head so I’m looking at him. “The gods?”
“My father said they spoke to him, but if they’re trying to speak to me, I’ve never heard them.” He sounds a little disappointed, genuine. I think he’s telling the truth.
I keep the fact that the goddess of death has been talking to me to myself. Well, she was. I’m starting to wonder if she ever will again.
“You won’t make me use it, will you?” I ask quietly.
“No. I told you, I’ll never force you to use your magic. Though, I suspect you’ll want to eventually. Or at the very least, practice it so you can control it,” he says.
I pull away from him, and he releases me without a word. When I scoot to the side to create more distance, he doesn’t flinch. It’s suddenly sinking in that I’m in Caiden’s room, and I’m letting him hold me. That I wanted him to do it.
There’s too much in my mind to dwell on that tonight. The gift weighs heavily on me. I wanted to use it to bring this empire to its knees, and now I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do. Or what I’m capable of. I thought I was strong. That I could make changes and destroy things.
Instead, I’m scared of what I can do and moping over a man who doesn’t want me.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” Caiden asks.
I consider, then finally decide the best thing I can do is find out more information about this magic. Maybe that’s what I’m missing. I have to do something to find the fight that’s gone out of me. “Do you know if there’s anyone else with this gift?”
“I’ve heard of it, but never in Pendralia.”
Brevan’s words come back and I wished I could remember exactly what he called people with my magic. “Where exactly?”
“I can’t remember,” he says suddenly.
My brow furrows. “You’re lying to me.”
He smirks. “I’m not sure I like how well you can read me now.”
“You’re the one who insisted I spend more time with you,” I point out.
“That’s true. And I also told you I’d win you over, eventually. How am I doing?”
I roll my eyes, then rise from the couch. The Caiden I’m familiar with is back and the moment is gone. “I should go. My ladies will be waiting for me.”
He stands. “Are you sure you’re alright?”
