I scoff. “Did you just suggest that Ibindmyself to Caiden?”
“It would be for your own good. To protect you,” he insists.
“I don’t think I want protection from anyone. Especially not from you. Enjoy your trip, enforcer.” I walk as fast as I can without breaking into a run. I can’t be in there with him anymore.
After everything we’ve been though, I realize, I don’t know him at all. He wanted tobindmy magic. To give someone else control over me. I’d rather die than let that happen. He should know that. How does he not know that?
Besides, there’s a chance that binding might give some of my power to the other person. I’m still convinced that was how the emperor lived so long. Why Brevan still can’t use his full magic and feels the punishment of using it. I suspect the emperor took it for good.
I won’t risk it. This power could have terrible repercussions for someone else if it’s that bad for me.
And what was that word he used? It wasn’t a language I’ve ever heard. It was from his home. Wherever he came from.
I don’t even know that. I didn’t know about his sister or her magic or where his home was.
I fell in love with a stranger.
I wipe the tears from my cheeks, then hiccup. I’m in front of a bedroom door, but it’s not my bedroom.
I went to Caiden’s room.
To the man I was supposed to kill. The man I ended up marrying instead. I want comfort and instead of finding Anya, I’m here.
I should turn around and go back to my room. I can crawl under the blankets, and tell my ladies I don’t feel well. They won’t believe me, but they’ll let me have some time to cry alone.
But for some reason, instead of turning around, I knock on the door.
Forty-Two
Sabina
Caiden’s expression immediately shows concern when he sees me. Wordlessly, he opens the door wide enough for me to enter, then closes it behind me.
I stop in the middle of the room, wondering why I came here. Caiden crosses to me slowly, then waits in front of me. He reaches for me, then pulls his arm back. “Are you alright? Are you hurt?”
I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around his waist while burying my face into his chest. He doesn’t hesitate this time, and he pulls me against him, enveloping me in a comforting embrace.
We stand there like that for a long while, and he holds me. There’s no expectation in his touch. No demands or questions. No attempts at pushing it into something more.
Caiden pulls away enough that he can look at me, then brushes the hair from my face. “What happened, Taylan?”
When he wipes the tears from my cheeks, it’s like my senses return to me. I release him and back away, but I don’t leave. Instead, I wander to the couch and sit facing the fireplace.
Caiden sits on the couch next to me, but he’s careful not to touch me. I scoot closer to him and lean against him. Apparently, I still needed someone to hold me, which he seems to understand.
It’s a strange pull and resistance with him. I’ve seen so many sides to him that I struggle to know which is real. But now I’m starting to think maybe they all are. Maybe he’s part vicious emperor and part gentle friend. Part monster and part comfort.
Maybe I’m like that too.
We sit there so long, neither of us moving or speaking until the fire dwindles to a single, struggling flame. Without looking over at him, I finally speak. “My magic can raise the dead.”
I don’t know why I tell him, but as soon as it’s out, I feel relief. I’m tired of holding it in. Tired of the cryptic messages from a goddess who was nowhere to be found while I was surrounded by skeletons and afraid.
He strokes my head. “That’s a rare gift.” After a long pause he asks, “did you accidentally wake the dead today?”
I nod.
“Oh, Taylan. That must have been terrifying.” He pulls me tighter.
