I wanted it to be real.
And I was pretty sure Amai did too.
Dr. Beaumont’s instructions were simple. No heavy lifting, no strenuous exercise, stay hydrated, and get plenty of rest. And try not to stress.
Like that was possible when I had a cluster of cells inside me that might or might not decide to implant in my uterine lining over the next fourteen days. Like I could just turn off the part of my brain that was already spiraling, already calculating odds, already preparing for failure.
“We’ll do a blood test in two weeks,” Dr. Beaumont continued. “That will tell us definitively whether the transfer was successful. Until then, try to go about your normal routine.”
Normal.
Right.
Day One
I told myself I wouldn’t obsess.
Told myself I’d just rest, drink water, maybe catch up on the shows I’d been meaning to watch.
That lasted approximately four hours.
By evening, I was lying on my childhood bed, staring at the ceiling, hyper-aware of every sensation in my body.
Was that cramping?
I pressed my hand against my lower abdomen.
It felt… normal. Maybe a little tender. But was that from the transfer or from something else?
I pulled out my phone and typed into Google:cramping after embryo transfer normal
The results flooded in.
Yes, mild cramping is normal.
Implantation cramping can occur 6-12 days after transfer.
Some women feel nothing at all.
I clicked on the first link. Then the second. Then the third.
By the time Mama knocked on my door to tell me dinner was ready, I’d read seventeen articles and was no closer to understanding what my body was doing.
“You coming?” Mama asked, leaning against the doorframe.
“Yeah,” I said, sitting up too quickly. “Yeah, I’m coming.”
She looked at me for a long moment.
“You alright?”
“I’m fine.”
Her eyes narrowed slightly, but she didn’t push.
“Dinner’s getting cold,” she said instead.
I followed her to the kitchen, my hand still pressed against my abdomen like I could feel something happening if I just paid close enough attention.
