Then he turned around and walked quickly to his truck, not daring to look back and be tempted by her face, which he knew would be flushed with arousal. As it was, he struggled to adjust his hard-on when he sat in his truck, and had to settle for hoping it would die down before he got to his mom’s house.
This woman was bewitching him, that was for sure.
* * *
Dinner at Molly Carlisle’s house was an informal affair. As a single mother of two rambunctious boys, she had long ago given up on things like fancy china and elegant meals. So much time had been spent driving to different sports, helping with homework, and working long hours to keep her bank account from going too far into the red.
Even now, with Ryan and Noah grown and living their own lives, Molly kept things simple. A big pan of tuna casserole was always a hit, and tonight both men dug in with gusto. After everyone had eaten, Molly turned to Ryan. “Honey, how are things going at the pub? Were you and Jake able to hire some more staff?”
How his mom managed to remember every detail of what was happening in their lives, Ryan would never know. But her memory, and how she cared about mundane things like staffing, was deeply appreciated by her boys.
“Yeah, we were, Mom. Things are good now. Busy still, but with the extra help we’re doing okay.”
“I heard a rumor that the new help is pretty hot… and maybe doing more with you than just working at the bar,” Noah said teasingly.
Ryan’s older brother often worked out at the same gym as Ryan and Jake, so it was no surprise he had heard about Anna.
“Shut up, asshole,” Ryan shot back with a punch to Noah’s arm.
“Boys, stop.” Molly held her hands up, and just as it had when they were kids, her commanding voice made both men freeze. “Now, Ryan. What is Noah talking about? Are you dating one of your staff? Honey, that’s not a good idea.” She looked at him with concern.
“It’s not like that at all, Mom.” Ryan quickly jumped to defend his relationship, “Yeah, Anna works at the pub, but it’s okay, trust me. Jake is cool with it.”
“Hmmm, alright, just be careful.” Molly wiped her hands with her napkin before settling back in her chair, her gaze turning from concerned to openly curious. “Tell me about this girl. If she has managed to hold my son’s interest, then she must be something special.”
Ryan could feel a goofy smile slide across his face just thinking about Anna.
“She is, Mom, she really is. Anna’s beautiful, smart, kind, funny. She’s just… Yeah. She’s special,” he said, then noticed his mom and brother were looking at him with surprise. It was his brother, who had always been the more romantic one of the two, that answered first.
“Dude, I’ve never heard you talk about a girl like that before. Damn, you’re in love!”
“No way. I don’t do love.”
As soon as Ryan said the words, he felt a sharp pang in his chest, as if his heart knew he was lying. But how could he love Anna? It had only been a few weeks, and he had never fallen in love before.
“Oh, honey, you don’t still believe that do you?” It was his mother’s lovingly concerned voice that shook him out of the swirling tornado that had taken root in Ryan’s heart and mind as he tried to process the possibility that he was falling in love with Anna.
“Well, yeah, I do, Mom. I can’t be in love with her, or anyone. I can’t take the risk of hurting them like Dad hurt you.” Ryan winced. He knew any reminder of his father was painful for his mother. He was surprised therefore when she rolled her eyes and scoffed at him.
“Ryan Carlisle, stop being an idiot. You are nothing like your father. Fine, you inherited his good looks and the Carlisle charm, but what you didn’t inherit were his loose morals and inability to care about anyone aside from himself.” Molly had fire in her eyes as she looked first at Ryan, then at Noah. “Don’t you think I deserve some credit? I raised the two of you to respect women, to be considerate of others, and to be hardworking, kind men. I’d like to think I succeeded in that. But if you are telling me that you’ve held back from love because of some ridiculous notion that you’re destined to be a womanizing ass like your father, then maybe I’ve failed you.”
Whether it was the fact that his mother had used a swear word, or the sharpness of her look as she dared either of them to disagree, Ryan and Noah were both frozen in shock at their mother’s words.
Noah recovered faster, and quickly tried to placate her. “Don’t worry, Mom, I haven’t given up on love like this stupid brother of mine. Marriage and kids don’t scare me, it’s what I’ve always wanted. I’ll make you a grandma, someday.”
Then he quickly stood up to clear the table, giving Ryan a meaningful look over his mother’s head. A look that clearly implied,fix this—now.
Molly sat there, arms folded in front of her, staring at her younger son. After a moment, she sighed, and moved into the chair next to Ryan. Taking his hand, she spoke, softer this time, “Honey, I am so sorry if I’ve ever said or done anything to make you believe you’re like your father. Please believe me, you are not. You are kind and funny and most importantly respectful. Yes, you are also handsome and charming like he was, but I know your heart. And that heart is good and deserves to love a woman just as wonderful as you are. So please, stop letting my mistakes hold you back. Your father was many things, most of them terrible. But he also gave me you and Noah. For that, I don’t regret a single thing about my marriage. Open your heart to love, my darling son. If this Anna is half as wonderful as I think she might be, then let her in.”
Ryan stayed in his seat for several minutes after that. His mother got up and went into the kitchen to clean up with Noah, leaving Ryan with space to think about what had been said.
Later, they carried on with their evening together, and didn’t mention Anna, love, or their father again.
On the drive home, his mother’s words bounced around Ryan’s mind as he tried to make sense of everything. Hearing her say she didn’t regret being with his father, and that she believed Ryan was nothing like him, healed a wound he hadn’t realized was there. Slowly, he began to allow himself to imagine a future with Anna. A future not bound by fear that someday he would screw up and destroy what they had. A future where he could happily be in love.
Chapter 10
RYAN: I miss you. Twenty-four hours without your sexy body in my arms is way too long.
