“But we’ll miss the ferry.”
“You can stay in the Airbnb,” Grey says smoothly. “It’s empty now.”
“Have I ever told you how glad I am for your friendship?”
“No, never.”
“Good. Glad I’m not breaking a habit, then.”
I look between them, confused. Theirs is not an old lovers vibe. It’s more like old friends sniping at each other.
Grey smiles at me, and I realise how kind it is. “Let’s go.”
We follow him up the path. I click my fingers at Bernard and he bounces up next to me, his mouth open in a doggy grin.
“I have to say I’ve been looking forward to meeting you for a long time,” Grey calls back. “We met so briefly before.”
Reuben’s shoulders go rigid at that casual mention of the last time we were all together.
I roll my eyes. “I must say I’m very glad you’ve got your clothes on this time.”
Grey bursts into loud laughter.
Reuben sighs. “Grey,please,” he says plaintively.
Grey waves a careless hand. “What? I like him.”
We come to a large, white-painted house looking out over the sea. Grey opens the gate and gestures us through. “Go on up. The door is open. I just want to check on Caleb.”
“Caleb?” I ask.
His eyes twinkle. “My boyfriend. He’s a potter and he’s in his studio. I didn’t have time to tell him I was back, because I wanted to catch Reuben before the ferry left.”
He parts from us and goes to an outbuilding at the bottom of the garden.
I watch Bernard as he investigates the garden, obviously enchanted by all the different scents.
“Xavier?”
I realise Reuben is talking to me and drag my attention back to him. “Yes?”
“We don’t have to do this.” His eyes are turbulent. “Let’s just get the ferry home. Let’s leave all this behind us for good and don’t look back. We were doing so well on the beach.”
I shake my head. “No, I think we should talk.”
“Why?” It’s loud for Reuben, and I stare at him. He runs his hand through his hair. It’s loose and salt-tangled.
“Because there’s something here. Something that’s always been between us, and I need to understand that.”
“Why?” he asks again.
“Because while I’ve never forgotten you, I wasn’t allowed to love you.”
“Who said that?” he flares.
“Me,” I say simply, and he subsides.
I try to find the words to explain. “I haven’t been able to truly forgive you, and I think I need to do that, or at least understand. The fact that you slept with him so easily while you were with me that week has always haunted me a little. I thought I’d be okay with it after time passed.” I shrug. “I told myself we never made promises to each other, and at the time I was too young for you, and you were too fucked up. It probably wouldn’t have worked even if you hadn’t slept with Grey.” He sucks in a deep breath, and I continue slowly, “But I loved you, and you hurt me so badly. You were the first person I loved, and you ripped out my heart.”
