“Why? I thought you hated Grey.”
“That was because you made me feel that, you absolute twat. No, I think I actually could be friends with him.”
“Good god. I’m not ready for that.” I laugh, and his face lightens for an instant, but then his brow furrows and he repeats his question. “What did he tell you?”
I hesitate. “Don’t you want to talk at the Airbnb?”
“No,” he says simply. “I’ve been without you for years. I don’t want anything between us for another second that could damage my getting you back.”
I want to smile. Of course, we’re not going to have a civilised conversation in a civilised house. We’re going to do this on an island path bordered by wild grass and the sea under the wide-open sky, where anyone could come upon us.
I step back so I can see him properly. “He told me a charming little tale of Jez blackmailing you to fuck me off.” He winces, and I suck in a breath. “It’s true, isn’t it?” I knew Grey was being honest, but a tiny part of me hoped he might be exaggerating. “Oh my god,Reuben.”
He holds up a hand. “I don’t want you to think badly of Jez.”
I stare at him. “Why not? He wasn’t exactly a stellar example of a human being, was he?”
That seems to stop him for a second. Then he rallies. “He was your father. I hurt him by what I did, and he lashed out at us.”
“Whatyoudid?” I throw up my hands in disbelief and spin to look at the sea for a second.
“Don’t turn away,” he rasps. “Stay and fight your ground.”
I face him again. “Oh, I’m not going anywhere. Not this time. This isn’t about what you did, it’s about whatwedid. You’re always doing that, Reuben. You make it all about your decisions and never mine.”
“You were so young, and I should have known better.”
“Oh, fuck off. I hadn’t been young in a long time. I was legally an adult, and I had been standing and falling by my own decisions for a while before I met you. By taking all the blame, you remove my agency. Just like Jez did.” I feel satisfaction when he jerks in surprise. He obviously hadn’t thought of it that way. I carry on when he seems struck dumb. “And what we did was up to us and completely unrelated to him. After you knew who I was, did you carry on fucking me because I was his son?”
His mouth creases in revulsion. “Fuck no, ofcoursenot. You were bright, bold, and when I was near you, I felt good in a way I hadn’t felt in way too long, if ever.”
“I’m cutting you some slack for that. Iwaspretty irresistible.”
His mouth tilts. “Thank you.”
“And I thought you were surface-of-the-sun hot.” He runs a hand through his hair, the dark strands lifting and shining in the cold sunshine. “And I still do,” I add firmly.
His eyes widen. “Really?”
I nod. “You bloody know it too. You’ve always got to me. I might have wanted to fuck you over, but it was obvious I just wanted to fuck you too.” I eye him. “So, Jez told you that if you didn’t dump me, he’d excommunicate me?”
He licks his lips. “Basically, yes.”
“And you decided that I would be better with that shithead of a person than withyou?” I shake my head. “That decision took away from me someone who put me first. The only one who cared about meforme.”
He swallows hard, his eyes full of a wild grief. “I’m so sorry for that. I never thought of it like that. But let’s call a spade a spade. I fell in love with you at first sight, but I didn’t realise what was happening.”
“Well, it was the same for me. Jez had never been a parent to me, and he never would have done even if he’d lived.”
“You don’t know that. You didn’t know the real Jez.”
“And I had no desire to. That person was your friend. I don’t personally think he’d been a genuine friend to you for a while, but you couldn’t see it. I wouldn’t have met him again after the Cotswolds.”
“But you were getting on with him.”
I groan. “I put that on to make you happy.”
He goes completely still. “What?”
