They take my face between their cool, steady hands and wipe the tear tracks away with their thumbs. “I’m tired of being in pain. Of being with her.”
Their words conjure Phantom’s mural in my mind’s eye, the mural of the bird in eternal flight, and I know I can’t do it. I can’t ask them to keep flying, to keep living, just for me. So I nod and kiss them with all the passion I can muster because I needthem to understand how I feel before they leave. I memorize it all. Everything I can. The feel of their lips, the texture of their hair, their smell, the sound of their breathing. I make it so that I’ll never forget a single piece of them, not for a second.
When we part, from the look in their eyes, I know their heart is breaking just as much as mine. But they’re doing what they think is best for them, and even if every cell in my body disagrees, I have to let them. It’s their life. What they choose to do with it is their choice.
Still quivering, I force myself out of Phantom’s arms. It’s like ripping my own flesh from my bones.
“Maeve.”
I try not to look back, but I can’t stop myself. Finally, Phantom takes off their mask, bunching it in their hand before dropping it to the forest floor. Then they smile—their blue and green eyes shining just as brightly as the day I met them. Another moment to sear into my memory. I’ve had so many of them recently, but I know this one’s the most important.
“Don’t let this break you.”
I want to be angry, but I can’t be. “I wish the world got to see the beauty behind the mask.”
“So show them,” Phantom says, their smile never faltering. “Fight for people like me. Give them a safe space and a voice. Give them art and a home. Like you did for me. Save more of us.”
I nod. I nod because it’s all I can do. And as I turn away from the love of my life, I know it’s the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do.
But I do it. I start to walk away, I really do. My feet move, one in front of the other, but my eyes betray me. For a second time, I look back. And I watch as the person carrying my heart takes a full breath... and jumps.
The world around me shutters like the lens of a camera.
I run to the edge of the cliff. Watch water the color of iron rushby at a neck-breaking speed. Scream their name until my voice is nothing more than hot, empty air. Get carried away by the authorities until I finally find the strength to walk away on my own.
And as I do, I commit myself to Phantom’s mission.
I’ll save as many as I can.
37Masterpiece
How are you feeling today, Maeve?”
I draw my gaze away from the window and back to Shannon, my new therapist. I’ve been seeing her every day since Phantom’s suicide two weeks ago. The search and rescue teams still haven’t found their body in the river.
Forcing my voice into a calm, even tone, I say, “Angry.”
Shannon’s gold-rimmed glasses reflect the dim light of the room’s multiple lamps as she studies me. “What do you think triggered it?”
“Phantom’s family has decided to hold a funeral, even though their body hasn’t been recovered yet.” I clench my teeth, refusing to cry anymore. It’s so much easier to be mad than sad. “And they’re restricting the service to family only.”
She nods thoughtfully. “That’s a valid reaction. You loved Phantom. You want the ability to pay your respects and say goodbye.”
Shannon has a way of helping me put my emotions in perspective. I used to feel guilty for the things I was feeling, but she’s helping me see that feeling emotions is an important part of what makes us human, and we shouldn’t be conditioned, by society, or family, or even friends, to feel bad for experiencing them.
A tear rolls down my cheek and I scoff. Of course I’d lose this battle. I nod at Shannon as I wipe it away.
“How important is it to you to attend their funeral?” she asks softly.
“Very,” I reply solemnly.
She leans forward in her chair, discarding her notepad on the armrest. “Then here’s an idea. Feel free to take it or leave it. Why don’t you ask a member of their family if they’d make an exception for you?”
My eyebrows shoot up at the suggestion.
“The worst response you could get is a denial. And perhaps the act of advocating for what you desire will make you feel better, even if they do deny your request.”
I wipe more tears away. “That’s a good idea. Thanks.”
