Shannon leans back in her seat. “How’s your anxiety been since yesterday?”
“The same. No better, no worse. My parents still call almost every other hour to check-in. Even though I know they mean well with it, it keeps it running high.”
“That sounds like another area to advocate for yourself, and make a reasonable request of your parents. Perhaps asking them to limit their check-in calls to two a day?” she suggests. “Would that feel more manageable?”
“Yes,” I breathe, my anxiety already simmering down at the thought. Shannon’s also been instrumental in helping me develop boundaries these past couple of weeks.
She pushes the rim of her glasses further up the bridge of her nose. “And what about your friends? Have they remained supportive after you told them you won’t be sharing the intimate details of your and Phantom’s relationship?”
“Iris completely understood. Perhaps because she’s made a similar decision, keeping parts of her past private. But Emmy waspushier. Eventually, she got on board though. Zayne and Franco were just eager to agree to whatever they thought would make me happy. They hate seeing me this messed up.”
Shannon nods. “I think your friends have your best interests at heart.”
I smile weakly as a beat of silence passes us by.
“And Noah? Have you talked to him like we discussed?”
I shake my head, my lips falling into a frown. “Not yet.”
After the cops walked me out of the forest, Noah and I locked gazes. Whatever he saw in my eyes, it helped him put the pieces of the puzzle together. Phantom was no longer alive.
“My mom told me yesterday on the phone that he started seeing a mental health practitioner too, though.”
Shannon smiles brightly. “That’s great news.”
I bob my chin once. “Yeah. I’m proud of him.”
“It sounds like you’re not feeling as betrayed by him as you were when we first met,” she observes.
I sigh. “If I’m being honest, I think I’ve already started to forgive him. He’s a good person. He didn’t mean to hurt anyone.”
Shannon asks, “Do you think you might be motivated to rekindle your relationship with him?”
“As a friend, sure. Someday.”
Shannon nods again. “And how have you been feeling since deleting your social media accounts?”
I grin widely at that question. “I feel a lot better. I hadn’t realized how much it had crept into every facet of my life. Now when I paint or am with friends, I’m so much more present. I appreciate the moment more because I know I won’t get to relive it through a photo or a video. Every glance at a painting is a blessing. Every laugh from a friend is precious. It’s a very... different way of living life.”
Shannon’s eyebrows arch, urging me to continue.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for social media. After all,it’s what originally connected me with Phantom, but I’m glad to be taking a break from it. Phantom wanted me to live my life to the fullest. And now it feels like I am.”
“That’s wonderful, Maeve. Thank you for sharing all that with me. Same time tomorrow?” Shannon asks as she rises to stand.
“Yeah,” I say as I collect my things and wave goodbye.
As I walk down the unadorned beige halls of the medical building, I feel lighter. After speaking with Shannon, it’s clear to see how far I’ve come in such a short amount of time. I laugh at myself for a moment as I exit the building.I should have been going to therapy for a long time. But better late than never. Before I can help others, I have to help myself.
“How was it?” Emmy asks as I climb into her car.
“Good, thanks.”
“Where to?” she asks as I buckle myself in. “I can text the others and see if they want to all go and grab some dinner?”
“Ah, there’s actually something I need to do first,” I say. Emmy gives me a questioning look. “It’s my therapy homework,” I clarify.
“Say no more.”
